Stella Blue Coffee Golden Mug Giveaway | Enter to Win One of 10 PS5s LEARN MORE

"Here" Is A Lousy Movie That Even Makes Tom Hanks Unlikable

Axelle/Bauer-Griffin. Getty Images.

Since Here was released with bad buzz and worse box office, I went to see it with very low expectations. Amazingly, I was still disappointed.

The concept had me hooked. A camera set up in a living room with the only thing moving is time and the people inside the house. The problem is the people you are watching for most of the movie aren't likable or interesting. It's the kind of family that you would make up any series of excuses to avoid. When they aren't being sadsack losers, they are speaking in cliches (The phrase "Time flies!" gets said at least a dozen times).

The movie does begin in the age of a dinosaurs but gets to post-WWII after spending barely any time with a Native American couple (who are the only ones who show true love to each other in this movie), Benjamin Franklin's illegitimate son (I shit you not), a pilot in the 1910's and the La-z-boy inventor and his wife (I also shit you not. This is also the only people in this house you'd like to talk to).

Nina Prommer. Shutterstock Images.

Instead we spend most of the movie with a shockingly terrible Paul Bettany and Kelly Reilly (Richard (Hanks) 's parents) and Richard and his wife (Robin Wright). There is no subtlety in the script. For instance, the roof has a hole which causes water to go into the living room…which leads to a woman's water breaking.

The movie does use de-aging technology throughout which wasn't well received. I thought it looked fine and wasn't that distracting. I'm also someone who didn't mind when they used it in The Irishman.  Well, except for the grocery kicking scene. That was indefensible. One thing that was ridiculous was Tom Hanks when he was supposed to be 18. He sounded like a 60 year old man. But that's just one of many ridiculous things in this. A wedding happens in that living room! Someone is born in that living room! Someone died in that living room!  

It's beyond disappointing how bad of a filmmaker Robert Zemeckis has become. The same guy who co-wrote and directed Back To The Future and directed Cast Away THIS? Instead of spending quieter moments with these people, Zemeckis has every moment be a milestone. At the theater I was at, people were openly laughing at the wildly dramatic scenes.

At this point, Zemeckis clearly cares more about some innovative technology than telling a story. With Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Death Becomes Her, he was able to showoff a new tech and still tell a good story. With Polar Express, Beowulf and now this, he's long past giving a shit about non-stereotypical character development.

This movie took what could have been a cool concept and made it a greeting card.

Grade: D