Absolutely INSANE Reader Email: I Have A Hypothesis As To Why Paul Skenes Is So Uniquely Good

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This is probably the most insane thing I have ever read. But same time it checks out sorta so let's just get right into it. 

HawkeyeJosh2 posted the following analysis to Reddit (click for link) to explain why Paul Skenes is so good. So technically not a Reader Email but also kind of a Must Read situation here. I promise. 

It takes a certain bulldog mentality to be a really good pitcher. It involves tenacity, grit - the ability to shut down what’s going on around you, power through, and succeed despite all the noise. If you’ve seen For Love of the Game, the way that Billy Chapel is able to tell himself to, “clear the mechanism,” and set aside everything but the task at hand. That unique ability to focus and take care of business regardless of circumstances is at the core of the bulldog mentality.

I already want to check out because we're referencing Kevin Costner baseball movie quotes. But same time that only speaks to just how insane we're willing to get.

He continues: 

The ability to generally not care about what happens around you, perhaps to the point of sociopathy, also helps.

Now I have never met Paul Skenes, and really, all I know about him involves watching him pitch and the occasional interview snippet, so I’m in no position to assume whether or not he’s a sociopath. For the sake of arguing, let’s assume he’s a sociopath.

Fine by me. Perfectly normal assumption.

With that, let’s table this for a moment and diverge here. Just roll with me on this. It’ll all come back together, I promise.

We've already made it this far. How much weirder can it get? 

The regular gestation cycle for a human baby is 40 weeks. People say nine months, which makes things easier to remember. 40 weeks is more exact.

WOAH

Obviously, this can vary, and babies can be born up to four weeks early and be just fine.

Obviously

 For example, my then-wife was induced at 37 weeks, scheduled ahead of time. 

This guy is married? 

The experts at the hospital ensured me that the baby was at term at that point and there was nothing to worry about. Apparently they’re just chilling and waiting to fall out at that point.

Now I don’t know whether Paul Skenes was carried to full term or if he was born early, or even if he hung around a bit long.

That makes two of us

I’ve never met his mom, and if I did, I doubt that’d be something I’d bring up.

But maybe we should.

One of the more aggressive maybes I have ever witnessed^^

Let’s operate under the idea that Paul Skenes was born a few weeks early - healthy enough to avoid any problems and grow up to be a big strong dominant pitcher, but tenacious enough to not waste time and instead decide to check out of the Momiday Inn a bit early.

Skenes was born on May 29, 2002.

…

With that knowledge, let’s go back roughly 37 weeks. 

…

That puts us at roughly September 12, 2001.

…

See where I’m going here?

…

It’s completely possible that Paul Skenes was conceived on 9/11.

WHAT

Now, reader, I don’t know how old you are, but I was in college on 9/11. I was also generally horny as hell, as are most college-age people. Nobody was particularly aroused on 9/11 or the days that followed, though. 

It was a real bad time to be a boner.

It was mostly a somber atmosphere - sadness for all those who died and lost family members and friends; sadness that this could even happen; fear for what could come next; concern among the male population that a draft could be instilled; anger that someone could do this to our country; our generation’s collective naivete irrevocably broken. This was just in the small Midwestern school I attended, far away from anyone who suffered from the immediate effects of the attacks.

Even despite our sex drives, the last thing any of us were thinking about that day was sex. Mr. and Mrs. Skenes, though, had other ideas.

Surely this can't get any weirder

There are two different schools of thought as to why the Skenes likely decided to have sex on the night of September 11:

SURELY

1. They had been trying for a baby and were on a routine of attempting to conceive, and that night was part of the routine;

2. 9/11 footage turned them on.

If the former is the case, that would speak to their ability to tune out what’s around them. Unless the Skenes family lived in a cabin in the mountains like Ted Kaczynski, they were undoubtedly aware of what had happened that day, and they still powered through to keep to their routine. Talk about a bulldog mentality right there - a mentality that, whether through nature, nurture, or some combination therein, was passed on to young Paul, whose conception finally took hold.

If the latter is the case, that would mean that both of them are cold, callous sociopaths, completely lacking in empathy and possibly enjoying watching others suffer. This would likely be antisocial personality disorder if you want to be clinical. Since both of his parents would have it, that would seem - again, due to nature, nurture, or some combination - to indicate a likelihood that he would have it as well. This ability to not give a shit about anything outside of himself and what would benefit him would seem to be an advantage to him on the mound.

I can't remember my last good Unabomber reference

Let me be clear that I don’t know for sure what happened, and I absolutely don’t mean to talk badly about anyone or their parents…

That said, we cannot discount the idea that Paul Skenes is so good because his parents conceived him during 9/11.

Alright so there's the entire analysis straight from the horse's mouth. Obviously this guy needs to put on every single watch list but afterwards, is there any credit to what he's saying? Do you guys think Paul Skenes dad was blowing depressive, sociopathic loads in the aftermath of this country's worst domestic terrorist event? 

Or do you guys think Paul Skenes is just a really good pitcher with really good stuff? 

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