Michigan Has Reportedly Offered $10.5 Million (Possibly Dave Portnoy's Money) To 5-Star LSU QB Commit Bryce Underwood

I admittedly have a blindspot when it comes to evaluating anything Michigan football related. Last season I was so convinced they were frauds I said I'd cut my head off if they won a National Championship. In an effort to make good on my promise, since I clearly can't cut off my actual head, I ate dog shit on camera. A bit of a low moment for me in my life. I will not be embedding that video here. You're welcome. But we move forward. Even despite Michigan winning last year's National Championship, I was convinced that J.J. McCarthy was still a garbage QB. Even after Michigan steamrolled all the shitty teams in their path 2024 Indiana Hoosiers-style and went on to beat OSU, Alabama, and Washington, there was nothing about J.J. McCarthy that impressed me. 

But then he was drafted 10th overall by the Minnesota Vikings. So clearly I don't know shit about ball. Yet still, I do not see why a top quarterback would ever voluntarily go to Michigan. It's cold there. They run the ball. I don't like their helmets. They play an old-school, ugly brand of bully ball that quite frankly seems way less fun than playing almost anywhere else.

$10.5 million might do the trick though. Even if the alternative is playing under the lights in Baton Rouge with 100,000 fans screaming "SUCK THAT TIGER DICK BITCH" at the top of their lungs. $10.5 million for a few years of work seems like a pretty sweet deal. Even if I have to wear long sleeves for a couple games a year.

This news came out earlier today. Bryce Underwood is the #1 ranked, 5-star QB in the 2025 college football recruiting class. He is by all accounts, good as fuck.

Bryce is currently committed to LSU. But that hasn't deterred Michigan, who is in DESPERATE need of a quarterback, from pulling out all the money in Dave Portnoy's rainy day fund (maybe) in an effort to springboard the Wolverines back into college football relevancy. 

Will Bryce Underwood be swayed by the money? Is $10.5 million worth changing the path of his career? Let's check in on the Instagram story Bryce posted immediately following the news.

Aw, damn… I suppose that doesn't necessarily mean Michigan is dead in the water. Maybe Dave can cut some fat in the New York office and tack on another million to that number. But that's not a promising post for the maize & blue.

You can't blame Michigan for trying. Although it does seem like a tough sell. Bryce Underwood is from Belleville, Michigan. Just a short drive away from home, as opposed to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. So they have that in their favor. But when it comes to the money, I'm sure LSU is going to make him plenty rich in their own right. And when it comes to coaching, Brian Kelly is no walk in the park… but playing for a coach with that much experience (even though he killed a guy one) as opposed to playing for Sherrone Moore at a University who may or may not still be hit with cheating scandal sanctions. That a big hurdle to overcome. Sherrone Moore seems like a great guy. But as a football coach he's completely unproven.