These Are The Perfect Thanksgiving Yams

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like some nice yams from Sydney Thomas. 

This is a recipe everyone enjoys. 

Nice thing about hot broads this time of year is almost nothing. A lot of times they'll just make your life a lot worse, which some of us actually enjoy in a fucked up way. 

Anyways good time to be talking Thanksgiving strategies. 

- I like dark meat over light but not by much. The right move is a 60/40 balance with extra gravy and double stuffing for every scoop of mashed potatoes. Sweet potatoes are a true 1:1 for regular mash but should occupy different sides of the plate. The roll goes on top of the turkey. The cranberry goes on top of the turkey. 

- If you're not poor, then there's a side bowl for apple sauce of coleslaw or a casserole. Fill that thing to the fuckin brim and let it rip. 

- Cold beers before dinner. Wine during. Cocktails after. 

- Pies:

1. Creampie your old lady 

2. Pumpkin 

3. French Silk

- Cigarettes with an older male relative in the cold/dark after a big meal are the best cigarettes you will ever smoke. I have a pack of Marlboro Reds on deck for my dad and I know my uncle will bitch because they're not Newports. That's exactly how I want it. 

- Appetizers on Thanksgiving are always slightly awkward. I like a classic BLT dip or a creamy spinach spread. I also like a good cheese board but then I start drawing a line out of respect to the feast. I think anyone pumping out wings or a buffalo-dip or something more in line with Super Bowl Sunday... I think those people are fucking crazy. 

- Normally I do two turkeys (birds) but this year I'll be at my in-laws and they respectfully do just one. That's fine for a number of reasons. Most importantly: not my kitchen. It would be a real jagoff move to cram another turkey into my MIL's operation for the sake of upholding my own personal tradition. So this year we pass on two birds with the hope of making it an even 3 in 2025. 

- More Yams

- Last thing if you got a girlfriend then just leave her at home. Worry about your own family. Under no circumstances should you feel any pressure from any woman who isn't your wife. There's plenty of time to put up with a bunch of bullshit you don't necessarily deserve. Right now it's just not worth it. Not at Thanksgiving and certainly not around Christmas time. Nothing sucks more than meeting a bunch of cousins and distant relatives and all that shit just so you can chase an average blowjob in Uncle Gary's basement. Spare yourself the time and trouble and punt on plans. It's much better for her to think it would be more fun with you around next time then to know for sure that her family is unimpressed with you. So just say No Thanks and enjoy your freedom.