Dumping Them Out: God Hates Alabama
Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Get ready for 1000 words of very much not commercial free Boob GIFs. A blog so not commercial free that the commercials (i.e. ads) are liable to take over the entire web page, rendering the words/boobs nearly, if not completely, unreadable. Forcing you to reload the site multiple times until you inevitably think to yourself, "Why am I subjecting myself to this to look a grainy Boob GIFs when literal porn sites have less ads to sift through."
That's the charm of barstoolsports.com.
The official 12-team college football playoff bracket was revealed today. I'm proud of America for cyberbullying the committee into giving SMU the last spot over Alabama. I though there was no way it would happen. SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey did everything he could. ESPN gave him his own personal 1-on-1 interview on the set of College Gameday where he politely explained to America how when you look at Alabama's strength of schedule, the rest of college football can suck his dick. After Clemson walked off SMU on a 56-yard field goal last night, I was shocked we didn't have an emergency Greg Sankey appearance on SNL. That he didn't perform an interpretive dance with Bowen Yang that highlighted how Alabama is 6th in the country in Game Control. Which is an actual thing I just learned about his morning. They were inventing new stats for Alabama by the day.
But even the playoff committee, ESPN pointing a gun to their head and all, couldn't justify putting Alabama in the playoffs. Thought's and prayer's to the family of whoever was being held hostage in the basement of SEC Headquarters. Idk who that would be. Idk who which one of SEC's goons pulled the trigger. But I'm certain someone is dead as a result of this decision. Shoutout to that hero who lost his life for the greater good.
I have a question about God. When Clemson beat SMU last night, both Dabo Swinney and QB Cade Klubnik gave post game interviews in which they thanked God (god?) multiple times. Some might say it was excessive.
I don't fully understand how God works, or what protocol is when it comes to thanking him for things. I went to church plenty as a child. I was baptized, and I went to confirmation classes when I didn't have something more important going on (i.e. sports). But I haven't been to church in while. I'm admittedly a bit rusty. But when I see players and coaches thank God after the game, I always wonder… does that imply that God favors them over the other team? Because that doesn't seem very God like of him. I'm sure SMU was praying that the lord would find a way for them as well. And they're a methodist school. But apparently God prefers Clemson. I guess he works in mysterious ways. And when he works in your favor, then you thank him. That's a pretty simple concept. But it always seems weird to me when it's phrased like, "I knew God would come through for us", or "I trust in Jesus to that he was going to make a way". How did you know he was going to make a way? We're you confident that you were more deserving than the other team? Because that doesn't seem very Christian like either.
But I guess when you've had a trajectory of success in your life like Dabo Swinney and Cade Klubnik have had, and every step of the way you've prayed to God. And good things keep happening to you. When you keep seeing good results you don't question the process. God just had a different plan for SMU I guess. Luckily, they still made the playoff. But one thing we know for sure is that God is not an Alabama fan. Turns out he was merely a fan of Nick Saban the whole time.
One more note about college football… I think I was the last non-ACC or Big 12 fan in the world to still want college football to keep the automatic byes for 4 conference champions. I thought it kind of acted as protection against the human element of things. I feel like our bias towards SEC teams is already so out of control, and I liked having a rule to place that made it so no matter what, there would be some diversity in the top 4 playoff seeds. But now that I'm looking at this bracket…
Man idk… Arizona State and Boise State having byes is pretty wild. I still kinda want them to keep it, because I have a theory that if we leave it as is, coaches and players will be more inclined to gravitate away from the SEC to seek an easier path, and that would help create even more parity in college football. But now that I'm really seeing it… that's a ridiculous looking bracket. The Penn State-SMU-Boise State region… that maybe shouldn't be a thing.
Still though… I don't think there's a single team on that bracket who couldn't beat another team. Except maybe the bottom few seeds with Oregon. But even Oregon doesn't have a defense. Maybe we will end up getting an Indiana vs Arizona State National Championship. If that happened there would absolutely be a large group of people of demand we go back to the 4 team playoff.