Live EventGet Ready For NFL Sunday With The Barstool Sports AdvisorsWatch Now

It's Safe To Assume Micah Parsons Absolutely Despises The Dallas Cowboys

Dallas Cowboys' inside podcaster Micah Parsons seemed to be a bit perturbed after last night's loss to the Bengals. So much so that he ended up storming off the field before the game was over, opting out of the traditional post-game dap ups. 

The Cowboys came into the season with plenty of hype and expectations of a team trying to legitimately contend for a Super Bowl. They locked up CeeDee Lamb. They got the Dak deal done. They were attempting to be the first team to win the NFC East in back-to-back seasons since the Eagles won 4 straight from 2002-04. 

And now they're losing games to Ralph fuckin' Wiggum. 

It's one thing to have a completely lost season in which everything goes to shit. But to then have Ralph Wiggum griddying over your cold, dead body in the end zone? There's just no way the Cowboys can recover from that. 

This is a loss that sticks with you forever. A loss that leaves a taste in your mouth for the rest of time. Micah Parsons looks like he's about as done with the Cowboys as anybody could possibly be. He can't believe what he's seeing out there from a professional football team. Every week they find a new and innovative way to lose football games. It makes you hate putting on that jersey every day. It makes you hate driving to that stadium every morning. It makes you hate your coaches, your teammates, the security guards at the front gates. Micah Parsons probably hates stars in general right now. Won't even look up at the sky at night because it reminds him of how dog shit his football team is. 

And I, for one, hate to see that. Sports are supposed to be fun, after all. Wins or losses don't matter, buddy. It's all about enjoying yourself out there. And when you see a guy who has so clearly lost that joy and sparkle in his eyes, it breaks your heart. Maybe Jerry Jones needs to throw the team a pizza party or something like that. But the pizza budget is probably all locked up on Dak's new contract.

All you can hope is that this year is just a bizarre fluke of a season. Run it back next year and just see if you can put everything behind you. Bring back Mike McCarthy just to make sure this is simply nothing more than a fluke. You don't want to alter too many variables, after all. Though I'll admit he does need to get a better grip over his team. 

@JordieBarstool