According To Pornhub - "Footjob" Is The #1 Searched Term in Colorado And That's Awesome

This may come as a surprise but I actually enjoy a decent handjob. Just ask me one question and I'm done. Do you like that?  Are you a bad boy? Do you have a big load? 

Yes. Yes. Yes. 

For a long time I've thought this was normal. But the internet has the unique ability of teaching me life lessons and sharing wisdom. Like how some guys actually prefer a good footjob. 

Now to me - a footjob is much different than a foot fuck. 

A job insinuates that someone is doing the massage work vs. me thrusting a boner in-between the arches of your old lady's feet. 

A job is relaxing. 

A job is good. 

In both cases, I'd want to be lubed up good and plenty like I'm staying at the Four Seasons over Mardi Gras weekend. But I digress. 

Point is I didn't know footjobs were so popular until reading Reags' profile on Pornhub's annual data collect.

Look close enough and you'll notice a couple of things. Obviously there's some gigantic tits in the thumbnail in need of a good motorboating. But dig a little further and you'll see some nasty, filthy highlights. 

- Maine likes a hairy bush. The thicker the better. I want that odor alive and trapped for the long run. 

- Alaska likes anal dildos. That's extreme but so is $25 for a standard cheeseburger. My point here is that supply and demand can do weird things to the local populace. 

- The Dakotas are keeping it real. Strap on lesbos up north and hot babes down south. Imagine if those two ever combined into one Dakota. You'd have hot babes getting strapped up by lesbians. That's worth at least one more electoral vote. 

- Navajo in Arizona actually seems prejudicial. Really makes you think about the post-modern power dynamic that shapes social progress in the different phases of pre-dystopian decline. Also makes me wonder if the trim at ASU is as hot as I remember. 

- Iowa wanting a good work trip is more about people from Iowa always wanting to be somewhere else. Newsflash guys there's no pussy waiting for you at the baggage claim. Traveling for work blows. The only fucking going on is when you want to upgrade out of that Chevy Malibu and you get sandbagged with a 2017 Mustang at 86,000 miles and no Sirius XM. 

- There's a bunch of other weird stuff here but notably nothing makes me think harder than a Colorado Footjob

These are rough, mountaineering feet. The arches are coarse. The toenails long and unkempt. Probably a lot more fungus than other parts of the lower continental 48. I would guess a lot of blisters or vague open sores with puss and plasma that force the sock to stick to the skin. Overall just really smelling disgusting feet that are simply unfit to job my dick. 

But maybe that's the allure? Maybe there's something special about a classic bloody footjob from a 50 year old lady fresh off a 26 mile hike with no socks. Maybe you just need to get out of your comfort zone? 

Honestly I have no idea. As I said at the start of this, I'm an old fashioned handjob traditionalist and I don't see that changing any time soon. 

I'm just curious from an expert perspective. What's the appeal to a Colorado footjob that I'm not understanding? I've been out west plenty and most of those broads are flat-footed and wide ankled. Good skaters, sure. But I would prefer something a little more delicate if you're gonna foot my grundle. You know what I mean? 

Anyways. I'm looking for expert insight here and I figured this comment section just might have it.