Two Instagram Models Attempted To Streak At The Rams-49ers Game While Wearing Sexy Santa Outfits

Hand up, I thought the reason Thursday's slopfest of a game between the Rams and 49ers was powered by poor weather in the first half and poorer offensive performances by one-time stud players (looking at you butterfingers Deebo and Goose Egg Kupp). 

But after watching that video, I think we have to appreciate just how good the defense was that night because I haven't seen security guards handle business that quickly in the history of ever. I know those girls aren't professional athletes or anything. But they appear to have a similar trunk as Michael Turner did back in the day when he was one of the fastest players in the NFL to the point he was nicknamed The Burner, so maybe they would've been able to take it to the house with some decent blocking.

So shout out those security guards for being able to read the play like Patrick Willis, get a quicker first step than Fred Warner, close in at the point of attack like NaVorro Bowman, and stop these ladies from giving us what would have been the only fun highlight of the night (outside of a Puka play or two). If the streets of San Francisco were policed with the same quality as their NFL team's stadium was, those streets would be clean as a whistle instead of covered in crime, homeless people, and shit.

I also feel like you can't put the same charges on these girls as you would a shlub like you or I storming the field. Call me a big softie if you like, but wearing a sexy Santa suit less than two weeks before Christmas definitely gives you some brownie points in any judgment against you. Hell, you can make a case that De’Vondre Campbell saw what went down and decided it was a better idea to chase those ladies than play with his teammates, and to be honest, I don't know if I can blame him.

So great work by everyone involved in this nonsense. I won't plug whatever these ladies were promoting with this streaking attempt. But I will post some of their Instagram photos for giving me such an easy blog to write that will undoubtedly do better numbers than anything else I write for the rest of the year. Merry Christmas, girls!

P.S. Of course Glenny got flashed by one of them on Only Stans.