HUNTING FOR MANHOOD (and ducks)

Last week, Spider and I were invited to a booming metropolis called Elsbury, Missouri to go duck hunting with Sydnie Wells for her Barstool Outdoors channel.

It was the first time hunting for me and Spider (also our first time in Missouri), and we were told to pack very little. Instead of an address, we were given the coordinates for the lodge like we were modern-day Magellans.

The whole lead-up to the weekend was incredibly mysterious, potentially emasculating, and downright terrifying… Particularly for me: a 52-year-old functioning alcoholic with a penchant for the finer things.

When we got there, Sydnie and her team were just getting back with a crew from Divebomb Industries, an outdoor company that somehow managed to keep both me and Spider warm, comfortable, and dry all weekend even though Spider is built like a NASCAR driver and I am built like an actual NASCAR.

(that's me on the right)

Here's the video, put together by Syd's producer Jack, who, on top of being a great technician, is also a great outdoorsman in his own right…

I mentioned at the end of the video that I am probably not going to run out tomorrow and begin hunting on my own, but having the pampered experience of duck hunting with Barstool Outdoors and Divebomb has given me a new perspective on a sport I never understood.

(use code "Large15" for a discount at checkout)

And I was serious when I said I would go back out in a heartbeat… But only with these accommodating professionals.

One last thing… There are a lot of female outdoor content makers who may not be truly "outdoorsy." 

Some (not all) of these young ladies are put in situations where they stand around in a bikini for hours until someone else lands a marlin, and then they shoot a quick video of them holding the fish above their head while advertently pushing their cans together.

I do not begrudge these little "forest thots", and I've probably masturbated to a number of them over the years. But Sydnie's content is not that. 

It's the real deal.

I asked the seasoned hunters we were with about Sydnie's abilities and reputation in the hunting community, and this group of blood-stained men… The type of men who don't sleep with a silk eye mask every night because their eyes are photosensitive (like me)… The type of guys who might not ever let their wives finish in bed because that's "her responsibility"… The type of guys who never flush toilets after taking dumps because it's "their job to make it and someone else's to get rid of it"… All of these mountain men were humbled at this young lady's abilities, and deferred to her opinion multiple times throughout our trip.

I'll wrap up and speak for both Spider and me when I say we were more than thoroughly impressed, we were fucking blown away with how her operation runs. And we would jump at the opportunity to have them at a race next year the day before we hunt iguanas with blowguns.

In conclusion, hide yo ducks and hide yo iguanas because I'm a fucking hunter now. 

(again… that's me on the right)

Take a report.

-Large

Now I can't stop watching women fishing…

TAR

-L