The Bald Eagle Was Officially Named The National Bird Of America Last Week! Wait, WHAT???

Alaska Photography. Getty Images.

BBC- The bald eagle is now officially the national bird of the US, after President Joe Biden signed a law on Christmas Eve bestowing the honour upon the white-headed and yellow-beaked bird of prey.

The bird has been a national emblem in the US for years, appearing on the Great Seal of the US - used on US documents - since 1782. But it had not been officially designated to be the national bird until Congress passed the bill last week, sending it to Biden's desk to be signed.

"For nearly 250 years, we called the bald eagle the national bird when it wasn't," said Jack Davis, co-chair of the National Bird Initiative for the National Eagle Center, in a statement. "But now the title is official, and no bird is more deserving."

What, and I cannot stress the next part of this sentence enough, the FUCK is this? How the hell did America make it to almost its 250th birthday without the bird that is the national symbol of the country being the official bird of the country? I know that there are common law marriages in real life when people don't want to have a wedding or sign the paperwork to make it official, but it's still kinda official. However, I always liked to think that America and the bald eagle were closer than that.

I don't want to think that a government could purposely mislead its citizens, let alone the American government! If the bald eagle hasn't been the national bird of our country this whole time, I don't know what to believe. Did America not defeat the British in the Revolutionary War behind George Washington's brilliant mind, wooden teeth and 10" cock? Did Lee Harvey Oswald not act alone in assassinating JFK in the videos Darren Rovell posts at breakfast time? Did Rocky actually lose to Drago but they fudged with the broadcast, which would explain how all those commies started cheering for an American mid-fight during an especially chilly period of the Cold War?

All of those would make more sense than the bald eagle not being the national bird of America. What's next? Are you going to tell me that the Empire State Building is a gutless cunt that promotes the biggest rivals of the Empire State's local teams?

Okay, bad example. Nonetheless, this shook to me my core about how much I trust my government, which admittedly would put me in the company of a bunch of other bloggers here at Barstool. But my faith in America is shaken. There's an old saying in Tennessee. I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again! Which is why I used the Brits' fancy BBC website to source this story despite them being our nemeses dating back to the Revolution since I am #done being fooled by any domestic news media outlets again.