HUGE News: Trump Announces (That He Plans To Announce) That He's Changing The Name Of "The Gulf of Mexico" To "The Gulf of America"

Say what you want about Donny, but you simply cannot say that he is not funny. I mean, "Gulf of America?" Now that he mentions it, who gets to name the oceans and rivers anyway? Feels like we can call it whatever we want, and if we're all being 100% honest, Gulf of America has a nice ring to it. Plus, think of the T-shirts and bumper stickers they can sell down there. Did Donny just save the Gulf's economy in one fell swoop? Looks like it! 

And obviously, announcing the announcement via a press conference. I genuinely thought I was getting AI'd at first, but nope! This is just Don being Don. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if his next move is to rename New Mexico "New America." This guy knows at the end of the day, it's all about branding, branding, branding. And don't think for a second that Freedom Fries are off the table. We had a little fun with them in 2001, but if Europe keeps acting up, we'll be eating Freedom Toast for breakfast and freedom fries for dinner before freedom kissing our husbands and wives before bed. And think about all the possibilities. The Atlantic ocean becomes the American Ocean. The Pacific ocean...also becomes the American Ocean. And don't even get me started on Canada, our future 51st state. 

I do have one question though- does Mexico care if it gets renamed? It wouldn't be as fun to rename it if they didn't care. If I'm the president of Mexico I try really hard to play it cool and have a poker face about this, because the more he shows he cares, the harder Trump is going to call it the Gulf of America. I'll be following up once the official announcement happens. Until then, I'm all in on the Gulf of America.