Rule #1 of Beer League: You Don't Wear #99 In Beer League
Anybody with at least a shred of self-awareness, shame, and humility knows that chucking on a 99 sweater is a cardinal sin. It's not even that The Great One just deserves the respect of nobody else wearing his number. He does, but that's not even the the fatal flaw when it comes to wearing 99. It's the fact that nobody has what it takes to back up wearing that number when everybody else on the ice wants to make a fool out of you.
What it all boils down to is just that everybody on your team hates your guts. Clearly there's not a single soul on your squad who cares about you enough to tell you, "uhhhh hey, bud. You played 1 year of varsity hockey in high school and you barely even stepped on the ice. Maybe you're not the guy to wear 99 around here". All it takes is one guy to care about buddy over here to let him know he's making a grave mistake. Sure, you may only get 6 or 7 guys to show up per game. But all you needed was one. And he didn't have a single damn guy on that team tell him that he's absolute dust for ordering the 99 on his sweater.
But if you're going to be the muppet who wears 99 in beer league, the last thing you can do is roll around on the ice after getting taken into the boards. Unless you're actively dying, you can't lay there on the ice. You chose to wear 99 for a reason. Clearly you think pretty highly of yourself. So if you think you're the guy then get your ass up off the ice, skate over to the bench, crush a couple of beers to numb the pain away, and get back out there. If you want to roll around on the ice and act like you got shot because you lost a battle for a loose puck along the boards, then maybe wear Jeff Skinner's number instead.
@JordieBarstool