The Atlanta Airport the Day After the National Championship Game Is the Nightmare To End All Nightmares

There are people waiting in those lines right now who just watched their team lose a national title game 12 hours ago. I would harm myself.

There is truly no experience on this Earth that I imagine better compares to the eternal torment of Hell than spending a day at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. With CLEAR and TSA Pre-Check, I can't remember the last time it took me more than five minutes to get through security at any airport with the exception of this one. But when I'm flying out of Atlanta, I get there three hours before my flight because you just never know what new kind of torture that hellscape is going to unleash on you that day.

Obviously all the Notre Dame fans there right now would probably rather jump off a building than be in Atlanta for another second, but even for Ohio State fans this has to be a shitty way to wake up and celebrate your triumph. Congratulations, after winning a national title and staying up all night, you now get to stand in line at the worst place on the planet for three hours while being bombarded by the same welcome message from whoever Atlanta's mayor is now every five minutes.

Be prepared to hear about this from every college football media member on their season wrap-up show.