Kiss of Death: Washington Fans Decided To Mess With The Rocky Statue, Now The Commanders Are Cursed
For starters, that's a racism! It would be one thing to dress Rocky up in a bunch of Commanders gear. But to make it into a racism and have that horrific Redskins logo plastered all over Sly Stallone? Well that's just not cool, man. Rocky was all about inclusivity. He was an equal opportunity ass kicker. Doesn't matter if you were black, Russian, whatever. If you want to vandalize the statue, then that's one thing. But at least have the common courtesy to get your money up and purchase some non-racist merch to do your vandalizing.
But anyhoo--here's how we know how new Washington fans are to playoff football. For the longest time, they never had to worry about anything that happened in football past December. They never needed to keep up with any headlines because their team was already so far out of the playoff picture that it didn't matter. However, if they knew anything about playoff football then they'd know that messing with the Rocky Statue is the kiss of death when it comes to playing against the Eagles.
It happened to the Vikings in the 2017 NFC Championship Game.
It happened to the Patriots in Super Bowl LII.
It happened to the 49ers in the 2022 NFC Championship Game.
And now the Washington Redskins Football Team Commanders are about to suffer the same fate.
If I'm Josh Harris, I'm putting some of those billions of dollars to work right now to launch a full-fledged investigation to figure out which fan is guilty here. It's been 30+ years since Washington has been in this position to be just one win away from the Super Bowl. And here comes some dipshit moron ruining the whole thing before the ball even gets kicked off on Sunday afternoon.
There was a time when I'd go out at night and stand guard as the protector of the Rocky Statue, making sure to keep vandals from opposing fanbases away from our precious Rock.
But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to continue to allow these fans to make complete buffoons of themselves by draping their colors over Rocky and cursing the shit out of their team. So my watch has officially ended. Also mainly because I no longer live right down the street from the statue anymore and it's fucking freezing out. But other than that, it makes more sense to just keep letting the fans curse their own teams.