History Will Remember 2025 as the Year Americans Brutally Fought Each Other Over a 19 Year Old Tech Nerd, Code Named 'Big Balls'

JIM WATSON. Getty Images.

Far be it from me to tell anyone what they should think about the major, seismic changes going on a the highest levels of government right now. Depending on your viewpoint, either:

--Trump is doing exactly what he was elected to do, which is expose massive, systemic corruption and shut down departments that haven't been acting in the best interests of the American people. 

--Or he's unleashed the richest man in the world, unelected and therefore unaccountable, and given him unlimited access to all our information in a way that is utterly unconstitutional. 

Choose your fighter. No one comes to a humor site to hear someone advocate for one side of the argument or the other. 

I will add that if it's true that our tax dollars have been going to pay millions to companies like Politico, AP and Disney (instead of to Barstool), or that $20 million went to produce a Sesame Street for Iraq and $330 million went toward growing >ahem< "crops" in Afghanistan:

… while disaster victims in North Carolina and Los Angeles have been getting no help, than they can gut the whole operation until it's got the budget of your high school's student government for all I care. But again, that's just me. I'm not here to preach.

What I am here to do is sit back and watch the Clown Parade go by. The life's rich pageant that is democracy in 2025. 

If you're not aware, under Trump's directive, Elon Musk has employed a small band of tech geniuses in their teens and early 20s to go into federal agencies - either virtually or physically - and flip over the money lender's tables. Including this guy, who previously was working on a way to use advanced scanning technology to read the texts of ancient scrolls that were buried under the Vesuvius eruption:

Where all this gets fun is when the rubber of a half dozen tech nerds born in the 21st century meets the road of the traditional, legacy media. The ones who've had an iPad in their hands since they were in Pull Ups vs. journos who've been operating from the same playbook since the birth of cable news. 

Specifically with regards to Musk's acolyte known as Big Balls, creator of the firm Tesla.sexy LLC. You just can't make this up:

So this is what it's come to. The summer after next, the Great American Experiment celebrates its 250th birthday. And when those Founders put their lives of comfort and privilege on the line to commit literal treason against their sovereign king, they had no idea they were forming a country that two and a half centuries later would be at war with each other over a teenager named Big Balls. And that a bunch of wine moms would be sitting around a desk trying to out-eyeroll each other with disgust over his word choice when he formed a company. But this is the world they created with a few strokes of a quill pen in 1776. Bless them. 

I'll end with a quote from an older historic figure who not only put his life on the line, but was actually killed for his beliefs.  Socrates said, "Foolish leaders of Democracy, which is a charming form of government, full of variety and disorder." Which is a truer description today than when he said it. 

From these Old Balls to the one known as Big Balls, do the best you can. We get the government we deserve.