The New York Giants Are Officially A Loser Franchise Alongside The Very Worst Teams In The NFL

Mike Coppola. Getty Images.

Truth be told, I was going to write this blog after the season wrapped up which saw the Giants have their worst season in franchise history during their 100th anniversary. However I wanted to see how the playoffs shook out, which resulted in the former face of the Giants franchise leading their rival to a Super Bowl championship over a team looking to threepeat. So safe to say that the blog was greenlit in my head before Kendrick Lamar's halftime show began.

The New York Giants are officially a Loser Franchise. What is a Loser Franchise? A Loser Franchise is obviously a franchise that loses all the time but also loses in such embarrassing fashion on and off the field, it makes their fans feel like losers. They are the bottom of the barrel in their respective leagues, pick in the Top 10 of their drafts almost every year, and live on blogs like this one for boneheaded shit done by their players, coaches, and/or front office that make them a punchline for the other 31 fanbases.

Being a Loser Franchise is by no means permanent, even though loser franchises often stay in that bracket of misery for a long time. My beloved Knicks were a Loser Franchise for almost this entire century before Leon Rose and Worldwide Wes saved their asses from James Dolan's reign of terror. Same with my New York Mets and Steve Cohen. The Detroit Lions were fixtures if not the face of Loser Franchises until Dan Campbell's crazy ass dragged them to respectability.

I currently have seven NFL teams in the Loser Franchise tier. 

The New York Jets

The Jets are probably the longest tenured member in the Losers Franchise Club considering they haven't even played in a playoff game longer than any team in any major professional sport.

There are a million other reasons the Jets lead off this list, which have been covered by the poor bastards on this site that root for them including the BB Resigns As HC NYJ Napkin, The Butt Fumble, and this classic video.

I would say that Woody Johnson getting back into the politics game could help the Jets dig themselves out of this, but all this talk about his son Brick and Madden ratings has me worried Gang Green will be in this spot as long as a Johnson owns the Jets (Sidenote: A Johnson owning the Jets has a double meaning there).

The Cleveland Browns 

The Browns are right next to the Jets when it comes to misery and history. However, the Browns did have a run where they drafted a franchise quarterback that took them out of the Loser category, led them to a victory in the playoffs against their biggest rival, and almost took down the vaunted Chiefs. Then their quarterback got hurt, had a terrible season while playing through his injury instead of resting to let it heal, and they moved on for him for a known predator that they gave a massive contract in the worst trade in sports history while their old QB rediscovered his magic to the tune of 4500 yards and 41 TDs this season.

Add that up with all the other pain the Browns have suffered and this video remains evergreen.

The Jacksonville Jaguars 

The Jags are the younger version of the first two teams on this list but don't have the same scars that comes with longevity or anger that comes from it being cold for half the year. They also are not even fully Jacksonville's team anymore since they are shipped to England every year in some sort of revenge for King George's taxes in the 1700s. 

Make no mistake about it however, the Jags have stunk outside of that one year Blake Bortles became the BOAT and they are run by people who keep wrestling bits going during the NFL Draft.

Oh yeah and this is the new head coach of the team, which feels extremely Adam Gasey.

The Las Vegas Raiders

The Raiders almost always suck, but occasionally they go on a little run that makes you forget all the sucking because their logo, colors, and history are cool as fuck. Unfortunately they had a run where one of their players seemed to get arrested for fucked up crimes every other week a few years ago not to mention there are always sagas going on with their big names, be it Antonio Brown, our very own Coach Gruden, or whoever Mark Davis is infatuated or feuding with at that moment.

There's a chance Tom Brady getting into the mix helps boost the Raiders out of this tier, which I hope happens because something just feels right when the Raiders are good. However we are also at the point where the Raiders being terrible just feels right as well.

The Carolina Panthers

I was debating if the Panthers should be here since they are kinda lost in the sludge of the NFC South. But their billionaire owner loves doing stupid shit as much as he loves hiring then firing head coaches.

If you add in all that nonsense with an eight year playoff drought, it feels like the Panthers belong on this list because there is no story of dysfunction in their franchise that I wouldn't believe.

The Chicago Bears

I wasn't sure if I should include the Bears on this list because it felt like they were at least a competitive franchise recently. But they haven't won a playoff game in 15 years and have the fifth worst record in the NFL over the last decade, not too far from my beloved Giants.

Obviously Barstool has a big Chicago contingent, but I feel like the amount of stories about the Bears being a shitshow behind the scenes are up there with every other team on this list and everything good that happens to them ends up being a disaster (See: Pretty much every QB they've ever drafted along with at least one QB they passed on in those drafts).

The New York Giants

The newest member of this illustrious club is the New York Football Giants. The G-Men have the most recent playoff win and actually made the postseason another time. But we all know that ended with an absolute disaster.

As someone that has covered the Giants for Barstool over the last decade, I can tell you there has been no shortage of embarrassing moments. Ben McAdoo showing up to his introductory press conference with a suit three sizes two big and a haircut of a simpleton. The Giants ending their two-time Super Bowl MVPs iron man streak for no reason. The Giants trying to make good with that quarterback by keeping him around then hiring a GM that would build around him, which resulted in drafting a running back at 2 despite the rest of the team being hot garbage. Hiring Pat Shurmur as a head coach. Hiring Jason Garrett as an offensive coordinator. Giving away a medium Pepsi to all fans during another season from Hell. This play.

There are honestly too many moments to mention that will result in me clawing out whatever part of my eyeballs are still in tact after last night's bloodbath that resulted in the Giants' rival hoisting another Lombardi Trophy with their former star offensive player on the roster. But make no mistake about it, between the amount of losses and the amount of embarrassing shit, the New York Giants are a Loser Franchise just like every other team on this list, even if they have as many Super Bowl titles as the rest of the list combined and the most recent Super Bowl title among the bunch (even though there are teenagers that weren't born the last time Big Blue won a championship, which lowkey hurts my brain).

On the bright side for the Giants, the rival Washington NFL Professional American Football Team was a staple of Loser Franchises until this season. Turns out all you need is a new owner, new GM, new coach, and half a new roster to turn things around, including the quarterback your GMs kid said you should draft!

I know the Giants never wanted a part of being on Hard Knocks since having cameras around during training camp could fuck up your season. But goddamn that Offseason Hard Knocks was a disaster since it gave so many clips making the Giants front office look bad to the point I feel like HBO may have to scrap that version of the show since any team doing so would be crazy to do it (unless they aren't incompetent bozos).