The Ocean Is The Most Terrifying Place On Earth Edition Number 17,593,978,233: Kayaker SWALLOWED WHOLE By Humpback Whale But Somehow Survives

For all my life I've firmly been a #TeamPool guy. I'm a giant bitch about sand and the ocean itself is genuinely the most terrifying place in the world. That is not our home and the above video could not drive that home any more clear. Some dude in Chile was fucking around on his kayak having a blast, enjoying nature in its beauty and the next second he's INSIDE A HUMPBACK WHALE's mouth seconds from death. Are you fucking kidding me? 

(ABC News) PUNTA ARENAS, Chile -- A humpback whale briefly swallowed a kayaker off Chilean Patagonia before quickly releasing him unharmed. The incident, caught on camera, quickly went viral as one of the most remarkable footage in Chile in recent years.

Last Saturday, Adrián Simancas was kayaking with his father, Dell, in Bahía El Águila near the San Isidro Lighthouse in the Strait of Magellan when a humpback whale surfaced, engulfing Adrián and his yellow kayak for a few seconds before letting him go.

Good news though, his dad caught the whole thing on camera including the moment his son was swallowed whole by said whale. Views>>>

“Stay calm, stay calm,” he can be heard saying after his son was released from the whale’s mouth.

“I thought I was dead,” Adrián told The Associated Press. “I thought it had eaten me, that it had swallowed me.”

He described the “terror” of those few seconds and explained that his real fear set in only after resurfacing, fearing that the huge animal would hurt his father or that he would perish in the frigid waters.

Despite the terrifying experience, Dell remained focused, filming and reassuring his son while grappling with his own worry.

If I'm gonna be honest, from his perspective what is he supposed to do? Negotiate with the whale? Fight the whale? Yell at the whale? If a giant whale goes full Moby Dick and swallows your son whole in the middle of the ocean, I guess the only thing you can do is keep filming for 1) proof 2) hopes that he gets spit out and you catch the thing all on camera. I suppose the other option would be to swim away so you don't swallowed whole yourself, but at that point you're at the mercy of the whales and their plans. 

I took my annual trip to the Museum of Natural History last weekend and I continue to be amazed by the blue whale/giant squid display. The fact that they have proof those two battle it out in the deepest depths of the ocean is fucking crazy. We've never seen it, but there's enough evidence to prove it happens. There's so much shit that goes on in the ocean that we have no idea about yet we have these maniacs just paddling out there like it's nobody's business. Megalodon is 100% still cooking somewhere in the Pacific. Team Pool for life.