Alec Baldwin's Wife (from Boston) Comes Up With the Worst Excuse Ever to Justify Why She Sometimes Talks With a Fake Spanish Accent
Ay carumba. I assumed it wouldn't take long for a show about Alec and Hilaria Baldwin's personal life to achieve new heights of ridiculousness. You simply cannot surround two such unhinged narcissists with a film crew and not have them expose themselves as the self-possessed, fame-hungry, clout-chasing lunatics they are.
But boy oh boy, Mrs. Baldwin cleared the already high bar set by the Reality TV celebrities who have come before them.
It seems on the show she decided to address el elefante en la habitación, which is the obvious question of what happens to her preposterous Spanish accent every so often:
And why does she occasionally struggle to remember English words that every Boston kid learns the first time an adult in their life says, "No, I don't want to try a fuckin' cucumber sandwich!"?:
And in trying to justify how utterly absurdly phony this is, she truly outdid herself:
Daily Mail - Speaking in her new TLC reality TV series The Baldwins, Hilaria said she is 'normal' for mixing English and Spanish while also expressing upset over being criticized for her accent.
'My nuclear family now lives over in Spain,' she said. 'I want to teach my kids pride in speaking more than one language.
'I think just growing up speaking two languages is extremely special. I love English and I also love Spanish, and when I mix the two, it doesn't make me inauthentic.
'When I mix the two, it makes me normal!'
Pardon my feeble Masshole brain for struggling to find the right words to say this, but no it bloody well doesn't make her normal. It makes her the furthest thing from it. What does make her totally normal, by egocentric Reality show celebrity standards anyway, is how she flips the narrative to play the victim:
She continued: 'I would be lying if I said it didn't make me sad and it didn't hurt and it didn't put me in dark places.
'But it was my family, my friends, my community who speak multiple languages, who have belonged in multiple places, and realize that we are a mix of all these different things and that is going to have an impact on how we sound and how we articulate things and the words that we choose and our mannerisms.
'That normal. That's what's called being human.'
Again, not normal. Human perhaps, but a fake one.
You know what's normal? The Boston Uber driver who's lived her for 30 years, and still has the same accent as the day he moved here from Jamaica. That guy doesn't try to pass himself off like he was born and raised in Saugus, yelling, "Is this retahd gonna move his cah or whaaat?!" He's his true self. That's normal. That's being human.
What this crackpot is describing is being bilingual. Which is the most normal thing in the world. But what she's actually been caught doing is something else entirely. It's an affectation. A pretense. Like when Madonna suddenly developed a British accent late in her adult life. Because she thought it would make her sound sophisticated. But all it did was make her sound grandiose and stupid.
A long time ago, my own very genuine Irish Rose introduced me to an old friend for the first time. The woman had just returned from London, and talked like a member of the Royal Family. "I rented a lorry and took the lift up to my flat" and all that. And when Iiked how long she'd been living there, the answer was an all time record scratch. "Six months." On the way home I told my beloved she can hang with this loon all she wants, but I'm done with her for good. And reminded her Mary Poppins there doesn't talk like that when she bangs her thumb with a hammer. Then her Masshole self comes out.
All of which is a long way of saying the American public can forgive a lot of things, but not phonies. To varying degrees we'll accept fake hair, fake lips, fake tits. Even fake athletes PEDed out of their skulls like racehorses. But put on a fake accent and we know you're lying about who you are. And when you do that, it must be because the person you really are is no good.