Good Prank: Jason Richardson Told a Story of Shaq "Pranking" Teammate Lou Admunson by Putting His Mouthguard in His Ass, and Stirring His Toothbrush in a Toilet Bowl Full of Shit
TalkBasket - Jason Richardson shared a hilarious but shocking story about a prank pulled by Shaquille O’Neal during their time together on the Phoenix Suns. Richardson’s story revolved around teammate Lou Amundson, who unknowingly became the target of O’Neal’s pranks for an entire season.
“Every time Lou rode his bike to practice, Shaq would hide it somewhere in the arena,” Richardson explained on Entirely NBA, via HoopsHype. “Lou would spend 45 minutes to an hour after every practice trying to find his bike.”
The pranks escalated over time, with Lou eventually deciding to get revenge. He chose to prank O’Neal’s van with aluminum popcorn, not realizing that Shaq wasn’t someone to mess with lightly.“I warned Lou, ‘This is Shaq. He does crazy stuff. He’s the type to take a dump in people’s shoes and magazines,’” Richardson recalled. Despite the warnings, Lou went ahead with the prank.
What followed was a locker room encounter that no one expected. O’Neal, walking around naked, slowly approached Lou’s locker and left a shocking surprise.
“He pulls a mouthpiece out of his ass and puts it in Lou’s locker,” Richardson said. “Then he grabs Lou’s toothbrush and stirs it in his [expletive].” The entire team, stunned and laughing, was unsure how to respond.
During the game, Amundson unknowingly used the tainted mouthpiece. “The whole bench lost it,” Richardson recalled. “Lou didn’t know what happened until later when we told him Shaq put it in his ass.”
If you've ever watched the show New Girl (if you haven't I'd recommend it, don't let the word 'girl' in the title fool you, hilarious show), then you're familiar with Prank Sinatra. Winston's pranking alter ego who's pranks are either way too benign, or way too over the top. Taking a dump in a teammates shoes. Putting a teammates mouthguard inside of your own ass. Kinda gives me Winston Bishop/Prank Sinatra vibes.
This is why I refuse to get involved in any sort of prank war. All prank wars inevitably devolve from finding funny creative ways to pull one over on a friend, to destroying each other's personal property and performing horrible, potentially life ruining acts under the guise of pranking. One minute you're placing a whoopee cushion under your pal's seat cushion, the next you're walking out to your car in the morning to find all four tires have been slashed.
To enter a prank war with a guy like Shaq, even setting aside everything you know about Shaq's personality, is a battle you can't win if you're Lou Amundson. Because you're entering a prank war with somebody who's at the top of the food chain. Somebody who doesn't have to answer to anybody. There's nobody who can keep them in check. Nobody on the Phoenix Suns was going to tell Shaq he's taking things too far. Shaq could get away with pranks 50 notches more insane than anything Lou Amundson ever could. Shaq's retaliation prank could have been having sex with Lou Amundson's wife, and the rest of the team would say laugh and say, "Excellent prank, Shaq. You got his ass good."
Shaq truly might be the #1 person in the world who can get away with doing heinous things and having everybody see it as funny. Jason Richardson just casually threw out taking a dump in people's shoes like it's nothing to bat an eye at. The second he heard Lou Amundson was going to prank Shaq with popcorn, he knew there was going to be a human feces related retaliation that would have the locker room in stitches.
To be fair to Shaq, I'm not exactly sure what "prank O'Neal's van with aluminum popcorn" means. If Lou Amundson legitimately filled Shaq's van to the brim with popcorn, that's a pretty massive inconvenience. A very destructive prank in its own right. Mouthguard in the asshole might actually be a fair retaliation. Really it depends on how much "in his ass" the mouthguard went. Shaq has so much ass. It engulfs things. He could walk around naked with a full living room mantles worth of trinkets in there and you wouldn't even know. Was the mouthguard up high in his crack? Did it make contact with hole? Was it fully submerged in hole? If it was fully submerged in butthole I'd think Lou would have smelled it before putting in his face hole.
But the fact that the headline of this re-surfaced story is that Shaq put a teammate's mouthguard in his ass, and not "Shaq Stirred a Teammates Mouthguard in a Toilet Bowl Full of His Shit"... Kinda feels like were focusing on the wrong thing. Had Lou Amundson's teammates actually let him use his toothbrush after the game, Lou would have been within his rights to commit a murder of at least one teammate. Not every teammate. Not an important one. You can't murder Steve Nash. But Matt Barnes? Matt Barnes might have to die.
You gotta be careful with prank guys. They're habitual line crossers. The line doesn't even exist to them. Everything is in play. There's truly nothing they can't justify if they file it away in their head as a "prank". When you loosen the lid on the salt shaker so that your friend dumps an extraordinary amount of salt on their mashed potatoes, you're putting the structural integrity of your family home at risk. Your wife and children are suddenly in grave danger. It's not worth it. No matter how sane you might think a person is, you never know where their minds may go to when they get into prank mode.