Listen to This 911 Dispatcher in Oklahoma Get Fucking ROASTED By a Toddler

MOORE, Okla. (CNN) – Many have felt a craving for a doughnut.

But a toddler in Oklahoma took it one step further by calling 911 for “emergency doughnuts.”

The Moore Police Department released audio of the fun exchange between the toddler and the dispatcher.

“Doughnuts? I want doughnuts. Are you going to share your doughnuts?” the dispatcher can be heard saying in response to the child asking for “emergency doughnuts.”

According to the Moore Police Department, the toddler used an old cellphone that could still call 911 in an emergency, but it had no other functional use.

I bet you would want some emergency donuts, wouldn't you dispatcher? Sitting in that chair all day long. Fielding the occasional call from a citizen whose covered wagon was vandalized by some teens. Or a farmer whose cow was struck by a tumbleweed. Can't even detect when the world's coolest toddler is flaming your ass. 

Impressively quick thinking from the savvy toddler. She (I think?) was shocked the call even went through. Her mom probably tossed her an old phone to play with, thinking it would keep her occupied for a few minutes. Probably had no idea it could still dial 911. The kid was clearly shocked when she heard the dispatcher's voice. But instead of panicking, she quickly gathered herself, and without missing a beat reached into her bag of cop jokes. 

"You got any donuts over there fatty? Emergency donuts? Emergency donuts? Yeah that's right. You would like a blueberry donut, huh? Emergency donuts! Emergency donuts! Sorry toots. I got nothin for ya. Maybe call one of your best and brightest friends. It's 10am. They should be on their third Dunkin' run of the day right about now." - That toddler (paraphrasing)

Just wait until Big Cat gets a load of this kid. A toddler with a penchant for donut bits who's already funnier than 99% of Barstool Sports employees? If she can get to 200+ pounds by the end of high school, she'll be signing a 3-year contract with a moving bonus to Chicago the second she steps off the graduation stage. Her and 50 year old Oldie the Canadian's USA vs Canada Donut Wars content will be paying the salary Barstool has completely forgotten they're even paying me at that point. 

The future is bright for that young Oklahoman. Not many toddlers would keep their cool in that situation. They'd either immediately hand the phone to mom, or drop the phone entirely and go hide under the covers. Very few would have the wherewithal to go into police officer eating donuts bit. Good on her. She's ahead of the curve.