How Far Into a Disney World Line Would You Have To Be To Not Leave After Someone Shit Themselves?

It's 97 degrees with 85 percent humidity. You've been at EPCOT for nine hours with your three children who have been screaming for the better part of the day. The two margaritas from the Mexico pavilion mixed with the heat have formed a nice pounding headache. And just as you've settled into the line for the Guardians of the Galaxy ride your kids have been begging to go on, an unmistakable shit-like scent begins to waft over the queue.

Now, if you're five minutes from getting on the ride, obviously you're just going to have to smell shit for five minutes because you can't waste the last hour and a half you've been in line. Likewise, if you just go into the line, you clearly get the hell out of there. But what's the cutoff point? Your children, seemingly completely impervious to the smell of human excrement, are begging to ride this attraction they've been looking forward to for months. You're 20 minutes from giving them everything they've ever wanted, but it's now 20 minutes with the stench of hot shit. Not a decision I envy.

I would like to speak with the people still waiting in that line without kids, though. What is going on in your brain? I enjoy Disney World as much as the next guy, but there is not a ride on Earth for which I will be standing in line after someone has shit their pants. Big T would be on the next monorail back to the Grand Floridian.

Nothing says "The Most Magical Place on Earth" like stepping around human shit to get on the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. Dreams really do come true.