The Bachelor Universe Is Really Drilling Holes In Its Own Ship By Combining "The Golden Bachelor" and "Bachelor In Paradise" Contestants On The Same Beach

Bruh. What the fuck is going on here? 

On last night's Bachelor finale (what? lol) they reminded us that not only are we NOT getting a season of The Bachelorette this year, they are also adding contestants from the Golden Bachelor.....to BACHELOR IN PARADISE????? Excuse Moi???? 

So, the best show in the franchise (Paradise) which is the closest thing they have to Love Island/a show with hot people doing hot people things....now we're going to add in a bunch of 60-70 year old men and women? Brutal. Sure, this will be weird/interesting for a couple of episodes just to see the dynamics between the 20 year olds and the people who could be their parents/grandparents, and I'm sure we'll get at least ONE forced storyline about a younger contestant going for an older contestant....but bringing them for the whole season? Ugh. Not the "big move" we all were looking for. 

I am at a loss when it comes to the Bachelor Universe. I used to be the BACHELOR GIRL! I didn't miss a single episode of ANY season for years. I would prop up my crusty iPhone 11 to spew my thoughts on the first version of IG live ever released! We used to do a whole live recap show for it at Barstool!!!!! Now, it's an afterthought, and I hate that. I miss my ABC family (literally and metaphorically) but I'm just not sure how to inject life back into the show. Nobody goes on for love anymore, and it's just too messy of a world to have anything with more structure than something like Love Island. The stakes aren't high enough and people aren't as magical on camera as they used to be. There was a glimmer of hope when we saw Joey win over the world on his recent season, but it's been crickets ever since. I would never be the one to say that the franchise needs to end, but it's in DIRE NEED of a complete overhaul and putting a bunch of oldies on the beach isn't going to bring it back from obscurity. 

I'm clearly not alone!

It's gonna be a tough season.