"I Would Much Rather You Come Punch Me, I Wanna Fight" - Jayson Tatum Gave Us Perhaps The Greatest Psycho Joe Mazzulla Story To Date

Juan Ocampo. Getty Images.

Jayson Tatum doesn't do a lot of podcast appearances, but when he does, it goes without saying he always brings the goods. I thought he was great on JJ Redick's old podcast way back in 2019, his appearance on Jeff Teague's podcast was must watch stuff, especially when the topic of Luka came up, and after joining the Kelce brothers on their New Heights podcast, I am happy to report we got more of the same.

A lot of stuff was covered, but before we get into the real point of this blog, I do think it's important to share this particular clip. After we all watched Tatum go down with his ankle injury on Monday night, the entire fanbase has been on edge. The early reports were good, but you can never fully trust those things since it's usually the next day and how the ankle responds once the adrenaline wears off that matters. 

So how does Tatum feel?

On behalf of Celtics fans everywhere, I would just like to thank the Kelce brothers for asking this question and bringing this topic up. We thank you for your service. Tatum's answer?

I still think the Celts should be overly cautious with Tatum now that he's already his the 65 game limit and he's secured his All NBA 1st Team spot (4 years in a row by the way, nbd), but it does feel great to hear that it looks like we (and Tatum) avoided disaster with that reckless closeout by Sabonis. Thank you Basketball Gods.

Just getting that clip/news alone would have been enough for me, but things didn't end there. We also got ourselves another all time Joe Mazzulla story

I get it, this may seem lame to people who aren't Celtics fans and blah blah blah. Whatever, this isn't for you. This is for us. Joe is a well documented psychopath, but he's our psychopath, and it's partially why he's the perfect man for this job. There is a 0.0% chance Joe is even remotely kidding, which is what makes it so perfect. This is who he's always been and who he always will be. 

Given the fact that all of these Tatum techs are horrendous since he barely does anything to earn them compared to what you see other players do across the league and not get techs, I love this idea. That POR tech at the end of the game was pathetic, so I'd much rather see something like this. I also love how Joe is begging Tatum to get suspended, probably so he can finally get some rest, and the team won't have to lock him in a room just to keep him off the floor. 

The only thing I could see becoming an issue here is that Joe is so nuts that there's a chance he forgets who he's fighting in that moment and goes Full Pyscho Joe, and we have a much bigger problem on our hands. This is a man that tore his own meniscus while training because he was so pissed off about back to back losses against the Hawks last year at the end of the season, so who knows what's possible once he gets to go ahead to actually fight someone.

Given that the tech penalty restarts in the playoffs, using the 16th tech suspension route to get Tatum some rest isn't the worst idea we've ever heard. In fact, if I'm Joe maybe I tell the refs to give Tatum more bullshit techs just to help him get there. Keeping Tatum off the floor is hard enough, and given that the final 10 games mean absolutely nothing for the Celts, this may be the perfect way to get it done. I see you Joe.