Shock Poll! It Looks Like Stephen A. Smith's White House Bid is Over Before it Began

Allen Berezovsky. Getty Images.

I've heard it said that the best time to be a candidate for office is right before you actually announce you're actually a candidate for office. That's said any time some celebrity is rumored to be considering it. Whether it's Matthew McConaughey, Dwayne Johnson, Denzel Washington, George Clooney or whomever. Before you run, you're that person who was in that thing that people like. Once you make it official and start talking about things, you alienate half your audience with your stances they don't like. You immediately go from someone used to getting their ass kissed by fawning entertainment journalists to a monster who's out to destroy everyone's family with your [pick one] Fascist or Marxist views. 

One famous person has not just been rumored to be considering a career in politics, but actively talking about it. And says he's only shown interest starting right at the top, the way our current celebrity President did. Stephen A. Smith has been basically running around campaigning to be recruited by the Democratic Party for 2028:

To be clear, I haven't the first clue where Stephen A. stands on any issue that's going to affect my life. Not one. But I do know some of his positive traits. He has the temperament you look for in a Commander in Chief, as demonstrated by the fact he resisted the urge to bitch slapped Skip Bayless or Max Kellerman into the Kuiper Belt. He's got the sound judgment to piss off Lebron James. He's long been a proud member of a marginalized, under-represented group, America's Bottom Feeder Community:

So there's a lot to like here, in my opinion. 

Unfortunately for Smith, my opinion doesn't count for much. Neither does yours, since by definition you're reading this because you're a sports consumer, in Stephen A.'s key demographic group, and probably male. We're a narrow sliver of likely Democrat voters it would seem. 

Based on this poll, there is less than zero interest in him leading their ticket in 2028. Never mind sitting behind the Resolute Desk:

Good golly, these are just brutal numbers:

I'm not the most political guy in the world. I don't watch the nightly news or cable news channels or the Sunday morning talk shows. But I do try to keep up with current events broadly, just because I think this is a fascinating time in history. Still, there are about four or five names on here I've never heard before. And probably a half dozen more I couldn't describe to a police sketch artist. And all of them are more popular, respected, and - worst of all for Smith's campaign - recognizable to the voters he'll have to appeal to. 

"Open to supporting," tied for lowest by about half the number of the third lowest name. 

"Unlikely to support," third highest.

Not "under any circumstances," lapping the field.

"Do not know" at a whopping figure of just under half.

Worst of all, "One of my top choices" clocking in at a number so low there's no room for it on the graph. 

Woof. 

The good news for Smith is he can get out of this the easy way, with minimal effort. Without further embarrassment. Without putting in all the effort to form an Exploratory Committee, give stump speeches, as for donations, go to Iowa in the middle of winter to milk cows for the TV cameras or whatever. 

Instead he can just pretend this never happened, and this is the perfect time of year to do it. The NBA playoffs are starting up, the NHL is soon to follow. The NFL draft. MLB. Right now his only campaign should be to launch Operation: Change the Subject, just keep taking insane amounts of Disney's money, and keep being celebrated by his hordes of adoring fans. Leave running the world to the idiots who can't speak passionately about sports. To quote Judge Smails in Caddyshack, "Welp. The world needs ditch diggers, too." 

Stick to sports.