Watch When High - Why Didn't Our Ancestors Used To Wipe Their Asses?

Was just scrolling through twitter, and came across this gem. 

Sometimes the most basic idea or concept in what being a human being means- something every single one of us, since the dawn of time can relate to, never even crosses your mind. Ever in your life. 

And then one day, when you're halfway through your life, it hits you smack dab in the face like a suckerpunch from a wanna-be MMA fighter on a drug-fueled rampage in Providence's fist. 

My mind was blown. 

Now I'm wondering a bunch of weird things. 

Do we have asses where we do to begin with because we used to walk on all fours? 

When did proper etiquette become a thing? Like when did people just stop squatting and taking a shit whenever they felt like it? Wherever they felt like it?

How and when was the toilet invented?

What the hell did people do before toilet paper was around? 

Is it true Martin Luther used to believe taking a dump was ridding sin and evil from your body, and that he came up with the idea of the Protestant Reformation while spending hours on the can?

Weird shit.

Keep the suggestions coming. Keep them classy. No butt stuff.