Video of Victor Wembanyama Playing Soccer in Costa Rica Looks Exactly as Scary as You'd Imagine

I don't want to overreact and be the guy who begrudges a professional athlete for doing something outside of his profession that might potentially maybe risk injury. But if I'm Gregg Popovich, I've already snapped out of my recent stroke and am boarding the first flight to Costa Rica to keep the future of my franchise as far away from a fútbol pitch as possible. I don't need any ball of any variety rolling around within 1,000 yards of Victor Wembanyama's feet and ankles. I don't care that his season ending injury was a blood clot in his right shoulder. I don't care if his body defies everything we've ever known about what a 7-foot-4 athlete should be able to do physically. To even watch a man of that size run around a soccer field with a ball rolling around his size  20.5 (55 EU) feet makes your butthole clench up. It's like if a regular person tried to play soccer with a baseball. It's only a matter of time before you step on top of it. Honestly, watching Wemby play soccer, it feels like it's only a matter of  ime before he steps on one of the other regular-sized adult soccer player's heads and folds his ankle like a pretzel.

That would be the extreme way to look at it. But that's a bit of an exaggeration. It sure looks scary though. In reality, I'm sure he wasn't playing for that long. He seemed to be taking it pretty easy. He wasn't going full-speed. It's just a game of soccer. It's not like he was ramping dirt bikes. Or skateboarding surprisingly competently like Dennis Schroder.

P.S. Dennis Schroder really made some wild decisions in free agency that year. He turned down $84M from the Lakers. Then tested fate even further by skateboarding contractless. All to wind up signing a one-year $6M deal with the Celtics. Jesus, man.

And to be fair to Victor Wembanyama, watching him do literally anything makes your butthole tighten up a bit. You half expect his leg to snap in half every time he takes a step. But he's been defying modern science his whole life. He looks like he can handle himself fine playing a little pick-up soccer with some Costa Ricans. It's not like the Spurs can just wrap him in bubble wrap and seal him in a tall closet for the duration of the off-season. He's gotta get out there and exercise. It's good for athletes to play other sports. I'm sure someone would argue that in a roundabout way, working on your footwork with a soccer ball translates to good post-play. And it appears he came out unscathed. So no harm, no foul.

It's also just very amusing to watch Victor play soccer. If he could get a consistent header down, I'm sure a professional soccer team could find a way to make use of him. Maybe in a last second corner kick situation. Just park him in the box and serve one up at his head. He might not even have to jump. Or maybe you could put him in goal for penalty kicks. His wingspan takes up a third of the net alone. At minimum, he'd make the goal look twice as small for the shooter. There must be ways to use a man of that size and athleticism. In any sport, really.