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<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>FRIDAY CONFESSIONS</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("brandId","66302568"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63390"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["friday","confessions"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["friday confessions","barstool sports","chest","stoolies","shit","gay guy","week","joey","number","dante","pat","patty","racing boy","edition","confession"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.24"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.64"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.12"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/3544297/friday-confessions });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><p>Dante and I alternate Fridays letting deprived Stoolies get shit off their chests.  This blog series is simply for confessions (and clicks).</p><p>I'll go first…</p><p style="text-align:center"><em><strong>I accidentally-but-aggressively patted a plus-sized female security guard on the ass earlier today.</strong></em></p><p style="text-align:center"><em><strong>She turned into me as I squeezed by in a Times Square crowd, and <u>(</u>again, <span style="caret-color:rgb(40,50,78)"><u>inadvertently</u></span><u>)</u> got a handful of 'dat cake.</strong></em></p><p style="text-align:center"><em><strong>I can't tell my wife, so I might as well tell you.</strong></em></p><div class="hq-image"><video autoplay loop muted playsinline alt><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/05/01/bed767aab607.gif?format=mp4&profile=high&level=5.0" type="video/mp4"><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/05/01/bed767aab607.gif?format=jpg" type="image/jpeg"></video><span class="image-attribution">Giphy Images.</span></div><p></p><p>The comments are open if you need to get anything off your chest.</p><p>Two Hail Marys, three Our Fathers, and slip a 20 in the collection box on the way out… All is forgiven.</p><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div><p></p><p>-Large</p><hr><p>The <em>Rubbin' Is Racing</em> boys went to Talladega last weekend, and we brought along Pat and Joey from <em><span style="color:#553982">Out&About</span></em> to increase the number of gay guys there by 200%. I had Patty on this week's edition of <em><strong><span style="color:#b8312f">YOU GOTTA TRY THIS</span></strong></em> to talk about everything we put in our mouths in Alabama (for me, it was just food).</p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/XjlRfbS?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78J9al9QBg0&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63390_66302568_friday-confessions&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63390_66302568_friday-confessions"></a></div></div></div><p>TAR</p><p>-L</p><p></p></body></html>

<p>Dante and I alternate Fridays letting deprived Stoolies get shit off their chests.  This blog series is simply for confessions (and clicks).</p><p>I'll go first…</p><p style="text-align:center"><em><strong>I accidentally-but-aggressively patted a plus-sized female security guard on the ass earlier today.</strong></em></p><p style="text-align:center"><em><strong>She turned into me as I squeezed by in a Times Square crowd, and <u>(</u>again, <span style="caret-color:rgb(40,50,78)"><u>inadvertently</u></span><u>)</u> got a handful of 'dat cake.</strong></em></p><p style="text-align:center"><em><strong>I can't tell my wife, so I might as well tell you.</strong></em></p><div class="hq-image"><video autoplay loop muted playsinline alt><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/05/01/bed767aab607.gif?format=mp4&profile=high&level=5.0" type="video/mp4"><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/05/01/bed767aab607.gif?format=jpg" type="image/jpeg"></video><span class="image-attribution">Giphy Images.</span></div><p></p><p>The comments are open if you need to get anything off your chest.</p><p>Two Hail Marys, three Our Fathers, and slip a 20 in the collection box on the way out… All is forgiven.</p><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div><p></p><p>-Large</p><hr><p>The <em>Rubbin' Is Racing</em> boys went to Talladega last weekend, and we brought along Pat and Joey from <em><span style="color:#553982">Out&About</span></em> to increase the number of gay guys there by 200%. I had Patty on this week's edition of <em><strong><span style="color:#b8312f">YOU GOTTA TRY THIS</span></strong></em> to talk about everything we put in our mouths in Alabama (for me, it was just food).</p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/XjlRfbS?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78J9al9QBg0&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63390_66302568_friday-confessions&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63390_66302568_friday-confessions"></a></div></div></div><p>TAR</p><p>-L</p><p></p>