Bill Belichick Just Needs To Get Drunk With The Fellas
Christopher Polk. Getty Images.I mean…I get it. For Bill Belichick, I really get it. The man is 73-years-old. Not only is he currently tapping some 24-year-old ass, but Jordon Hudson is ridiculously hot. Call it creepy or whatever you want, but the facts are the facts. Jordon Hudson is ridiculously hot, and we all know that means it directly correlates to how much crazy Bill is willing to put up with to continue tapping that.
His family isn't going to convince him to split up with her. Nobody at the University of North Carolina Athletics Department is going to convince him to split up with her. Banning her from the facility is only going to intensify the grips which she is able to lock into Bill. You know for a fact that the ultimatum is coming where she makes Bill Belichick choose between football or her.
This is a tale as old as time. One of your buddies starts to date a rocket, all of a sudden he completely changes and you never see him anymore. You finally get him back out for a night, and it goes one of two ways. Either the boys are able to convince him that his girlfriend sucks, and the relationship is over pretty quickly after that. Or you realize you've lost your boy for good. Bill Belichick needs to have one of those nights,
Which is exactly why Bill Belichick just needs some friends right now. Get the boys together for a quick night out, and it would solve everything here. Grab a few cases of beer, some smokes, maybe get a few things to light on fire, who knows. All he needs to do is get after it for a night. The thing about the fellas is that we'll never actually talk about our relationship with each other. But you can casually throw a few grenades into the conversation about how much your buddy's girlfriend sucks to sort of steer the conversation. The drunker you get, the more honest you can be about it.
Your family isn't getting hammered with you talking about how much your girlfriend sucks. They're giving you that information while you're sober. It immediately puts you on the defensive. The media isn't getting hammered with you. Your bosses aren't getting hammered with you. Literally the only thing that can save Bill Belichick right now is getting mangled with the boys. So if you've ever wanted to be friends with Coach Belichick, now seems like a good time. Because clearly he's in need of a few.