Watch: How The Hell Did This Guy Qualify For The Pop-A-Shot National Championship? Dave Portnoy Could Defeat Him With Only 1 Healthy Shoulder

Last night our fearless leader Dave Portnoy continued his undefeated streak of making great points on the internet. How the HELL did this guy make it all the way to 2024 Pop-A-Shot National Championships? Was he actually a contender and this was an epic choke job? Did the big bright lights force rancid piss down his leg once that starting horn went off? 

Keep in mind, this is coming from somebody who knows a thing or two about facing adversity on the court. 

Perfect form with a beautiful release, I guarantee if you run all those shots back now but with Dave in Purple Starfish gear then he's shooting around 69% on those attempts. 

Let's be real shooting in a $20,000 suit is about as loaded a deck as they come. Unfair!

So don't make me dig into the archives just to prove all the times Dave "The Jewish Mamba" Portnoy has dominated a roundball challenge. We simply don't have the time. 

If Dave says he could defeat this jabroni then I absolutely believe him. He's the most honest man I know. 

But the rest of the Pop-A-Shot field? Not so fast my friends, some of these ballers can roundball ROCK. They earned that shit. 

Absolutely bananas seeing some of these scores consistently end with 100+… Right before the Finals there was even a 123-101 game! Honestly didn't know that high of a score was possible in only 45 seconds. Who knew The Ocho actually had athletes for days?

(The Record) - Pop-A-Shot, out of Peoria, Illinois, is the most well-known, and purportedly the original, brand of arcade basketball. In official gameplay, players get 30 seconds to shoot mini basketballs into an elevated goal about 5 feet away. 

In the first 20 seconds, each conversion is worth 2 points; in the final 10, each is worth 3. If a player eclipses 40 points, they receive an additional 15 seconds during which each make is 3 points.

If you think you can do better than Dave the next Pop-A-Shot 2025 qualifier is in St. Louis on May 22nd.. 

The qualifier starts with Open Play from 5-8pm CST. Come anytime, but the earlier you arrive, the more chances you'll have to play and set a high score. At 8pm, the top 8 scorers advance to the Finals, and the Finals winner qualifies for our 2025 National Championship

Good luck to any prospective Poppers out there, just don't end up like The Pissmaster embarrassing yourself on national television and THEN the internet 1 year later. That would suck. And speaking of sucking I can't end this blog without paying homage to the greatest basketball battle of ALL. 

This is exactly what Dr. James Naismith was picturing when he invented the sport. The spin move was meant to be unguardable. Poetry in motion. 

Loud Sean, you will always be a legend brother. Even if you lost your family in the process.