Top Three Athletes I'd Want To Go On A Bender With

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Tuesday, June 3rd, 2025. It’s currently 80 degrees and sunny in the great city of Chicago. Sources confirm that it is officially Summertime Chi. And the only thing I can think about right now is slamming beers with the boys on a patio.

But then I remembered it’s Tuesday. And if I end up day drinking beers on a patio, odds are I’ll be fired. So instead, I’ll sit at my desk and daydream about the three athletes I’d want to go on an all time bender with. I’ll be honest with you, this list is straight chalk. You could probably guess all three before reading the whole blog. But that’s how you know it’s a good list. Some things are predictable because they’re perfect.

First up: Dennis Rodman.

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My favorite basketball player of all time. I don’t care that he’s tight with North Korea, this is about assembling the ultimate dream team for a legendary bender, and there’s no better first round pick than Dennis. The man is a certified animal. He literally got permission from the Bulls to go on a mid-season Vegas bender to "get his mind right." That’s the kind of energy I need in my life. Plus, I’d pay good money just to hear him tell stories about Carmen Electra. God, I’m so jealous she was such a rocket. In my eyes, Dennis is just one of the boys who happened to play in the NBA. An absolute icon.

Next up: John Daly.

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I was this close to picking Lawrence Taylor. But I’ve heard some weird stories about LT, some of them unconfirmed, some of them straight-up insane and I don’t know what’s true and what’s not. It would’ve been kind of cool to see him smoke crack, though. Just to witness it. For the record, I’ve never smoked crack, never will, but… yeah, that curiosity is real.

Anyway, John Daly is the safer pick and an all-time legend in his own right. You take one look at the guy and immediately know he’s DTD (Down to Drink). Plus, he’s a seasoned veteran who could keep the group in check while still fueling the chaos. He smokes cigs, too, which is tight. Because let’s be honest, there’s nothing better than a drunk cig.

Last but not least: Johnny Manziel.

My favorite athlete of all time. Yeah, he was a terrible NFL player, but nobody did college like Johnny. Heisman Trophy in one hand, beer in the other. Partying with Drake. Courtside at Rockets games. Making stacks of cash under the table signing memorabilia. Hooking up with the hottest girls on campus. The guy was a walking frat party. There will never be another Johnny. At least, not one who lives that openly.

Just the thought of this lineup actually coming together gives me goosebumps. It’ll never happen, but that’s the point. It’s a daydream. Me, Dennis, John, and Johnny. On a patio. Slugging beers and ripping heaters.

That’s the kind of vision that’ll make a young man cry.