"HOORAY FOR SLIGHTLY ABOVE-AVERAGE STUDENTS!!!"

I came across this little "feel-good" headline, and it made me feel not-so-good.

Before I start, can you guess what my problem is here?

I'll give you a hint... America is fucking DOOMED.

And now I'll give you the answer in the form of another question... Why the fuck are we celebrating B students?

Honestly, do you think whatever-the-fuck the equivalent of Chick-fil-A is in India or Japan is giving away free whatever-the-fuck the equivalent of a Happy Meal is to their B students?

I'll answer that...

FUCK NO.

And that's why you will not see a doctor this year who has matriculated through the US school system.

"But Large, if your version of Chick-fil-A's promotion only gives freebies to straight-A students, what do you want me to tell my daughter who works VERY hard at school, but she has five As and one unfortunate B+ on her report card?"

That answer is easy- You tell her that she is a good student... Just not good enough for free chicken. 

And you should also tell your angel that if they work even HARDER next semester, THEN she can participate in my version of this promotion… One that only rewards excellence in the form of straight As. 

Otherwise, this is the culinary version of a participation trophy. 

One that tells straight-A students that they can actually pull back on the throttle, take a couple weeks off, wallow in mediocrity, and STILL get a free chicken sandwich.

And one that is part of the reason our students will be working at Chick-fil-A, but never owning one.

Truth hurts… Tighten the fuck up… And take a report.

-Large

I pulled a couple of topics like this out for the latest episode of YOU GOTTA TRY THIS and invited the always-rational Nate on as co-host to solve all the world's problems… Give it a peek.

TAR

-L