Grizzlies' Center Zach Edey (7'4" 300-Pounds) Busted For Driving 101 MPH in a KIA Sorento

I'm a full day late on this "story". Somehow Zach Edey (one of my favorite players in sports to begrudge) being arrested for driving 101 in a 55 didn't come across my desk. Which is actually insane because I was legitimately staring at my computer for 3 hours yesterday, scrolling through the same "news" websites and Twitter accounts over and over again just begging the internet for anything at all to write about. I nearly wrote a blog about Liquid Death selling empty cans that Ozzy Osbourne drank out of once for $450. Which I guess for some people isn't any less newsworthy than a pro athlete who likes to drive fast. Zach Edey didn't even get top billing yesterday in the world of athletes being arrested for driving exactly 101 mph.

The real story there would have been if someone caught Shedeur Sanders slowing down to allow a car to merge in front of him.

But Zach Edey driving 101 in a 55... now THAT is surprising. You'd never expect a guy like Zach Edey to be a speed demon on the road. I never expected a guy like Zach Edey to own a car whatsoever. When Zach Edey needs to get across town, I figured he just took a few long strides and arrived at his destination. But I suppose that's why he feels the need for speed behind the wheel. It's the only way for him to make driving even close to as efficient as walking.

And to be fair to Zach Edey, he's coming off his rookie year in the NBA. He's making nearly as much money now as he was at Purdue. Of course he's going to do a little splurging and buy himself a nice car. When you buy yourself a nice car, sometimes you gotta go pedal down and see what that bad boy is made of. 

Sometimes you gotta open the KIA Sorento up.

Heritage Images. Getty Images.

Ok fine he was probably driving something newer than a 2008… The newer KIA Sorento's look far nicer than that. They actually look like they might be a solid option for a 7-foot driver.

But not a 7-footer driver who plays in the NBA. C'mon Zach Edey. Driving a KIA Sorento after signing a $26M contract is downright responsible. It is a lame car to drive for an NBA player. And more so than any other player in the NBA, Zach Edey is in desperate need of an edge. When you watch the Grizzlies play, he looks like he's permanently on the verge of tears. He's still effective, because he's 7'4", 300-pounds, but even when he's doing good things, he constantly looks like he's in a fucking torture chamber. He looks like he plays basketball in a constant state of hell and confusion. 

Honestly, if I'm the Memphis Grizzlies, I love seeing that Zach Edey was driving 101 in a 55. That's probably the boldest thing he's done in his life. He needs more of that in him. You just wish it were in a Range Rover. To see that headline then go onto read that Zach Edey was doing his speeding in a KIA Sorento… that has to be a cold shower for the Grizzlies front office.

"Here comes our first round draft pick! Our starting center who we desperately need to man the fuck up!! The player we need to own the paint and strike fear in the heart of our opponents! Here he comes in his KIA Sorento! Bet that gets great gas mileage Zach!"