Karen Read Retrial Recap, No. 6: A Professional Bloodbath Continues as Two More Investigators Get 'Reassigned'

Boston Globe. Getty Images.

The expression goes "Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, three times is a trend." Well coming out of the 4th of July weekend, with most Massholes still down the Cape and the Islands, or up at the lakes of Vermont and New Hampshire and not paying attention to much beyond drinking before noon, we had some fallout from the Karen Read acquittal. First one. Then two:

Investigator and State Trooper Yuri Bukhenik was transferred to South Boston, and reportedly is heading to Lee, which is as far away as a MA state employee can be sent without violating the treaty establishing the Demilitarized Zone between us and New York.

Kelly Dever, the former Canton cop who changed her story and "Do[ne] the Right Thing" all the way to the top on the Boston Police force, has taken a leave of absence. That would be this Kelly Dever:

Who as my guy Jason on X pointed out, absolutely has to be played in the inevitable Karen Read Netflix movie by the same chick who was Det. Susan Duffy on this past season of Reacher:

Well those two police officers involved in this case, and who have shown a familiarity with telling the truth roughly equivalent to that of the people who promised to release the Epstein List, has blown right past three, into four. Making it not a trend so much as a bloodbath. A housecleaning. The agencies in and around Norfolk County are flushing their departments like Hercules changing the course of rivers to clean out the Augean Stables. 

You may remember Trooper Nicholas Guarino, from Season 1 of Commonwealth v. Karen Read. He made a name for himself for a couple of things. First, whispering, "Oh, damn. Kill me" into a microphone with the jury in the box listening:

He also offered some less-than-plausible testimony about the phone data. First, it was discovered he had access to Jen McCabe's phone, but never found the infamous "hos long to die in the cold" Google search. And he claimed data showing John O'Keefe was walking up and down stairs at a time the prosecution claims he was lying in the snow after Read backed into him, was incorrect:

But Guarino's phone data "expertise" called into question long before he took the stand last year. He was the one who conveniently couldn't find almost 31,000 texts between another cop in Norfolk County and his pregnant girlfriend who turned up dead:

The murder of Sandra Birchmore is something that both Kirk Minihane:

… and Turtleboy:

…did heroic work on. Guarino, not so much. Which has to have been an embarrassment to anyone in Massachusetts law enforcement. And a terrible look since in both instances, his "mistakes" in data collection seemed to benefit other LEOs. Making them not feel like mistakes at all. 

And we just found out something is being done about it. Again, from Turtleboy, who has sources feeding him rock solid intel from deep inside the belly of the beast:

…and can probably milk the taxpayers for the rest of his life without having to work. It would also be a way for him to stay out of the spotlight and avoid losing his pension if things were to go wrong for him. 

And we can add another name to the group, making it a foursome who can now tee off at 10 and enjoy the Back 9 of their careers:

… removed from the state police detectives unit of the Norfolk DA.  Damn, but heads be rollin! 

If you're one of the vast majority of Massholes who called shenanigans on this investigation, believe an innocent woman was being framed, the true perps were being protected, and want to see "heads be rollin'," then this is good news. Sure, you can quibble with the fact everybody's still getting paid. $181,000 a year and a full pension waiting at the end of the professional rainbow (note that Staties get some of the earliest retirements of anyone in the observable universe). But it's still a form of public shame to get sent out of your area. It's punishment duty. 

You're like Vic Mackey in the final scene of the The Shield series run. Shamed. Humiliated. Stuck doing busy work for the rest of his life because he cut a deal with the Feds to betray all his loyal soldiers. With nothing but the hum of the fluorescent lights and his own conscience gnawing at the inside of his dark soul. Note that fellow Masshole Michael Chiklis does some of the best non-verbal acting since Al Pacino walked out of an Italian restaurant bathroom with a pistol in his hand: 

These guys getting moved and Kelly Dever going on "leave" is good not just for the Free Karen Read people. More importantly, it benefits the vast, nearly unanimous majority of LEOs who signed up to do the job of protecting the public, and do with with honor and integrity. The ones you saw this weekend keeping order at the fireworks displays making sure everyone gets home in one piece. The ones who respond when a child goes missing. Clear an accident scene when the road surface is 140 degrees F. Who do well-being checks on lonely old dementia patients and opioid addicted girls to a hospital before they OD. Those people have earned the right to not be lumped in with the ones who lie under oath or change their story to railroad some woman because she's not connect to the cops and politicians in Canton, MA. 

So rejoice. And there might be more where they came from.