Is Angela White Preparing To Have Sex In Space?
I spent the last 3-4 hours watching Angela White gobble up water globules suspended around her giant rack in some zero-gravity simulator/stimulator…
And I wasn't the only one of my co-workers watching, apparently…
No matter who was watching along, the whole experience presented an obvious question…
If so-called “science”… Which is SUPPOSED to be used for the betterment of man… Can casually send worthless twats like Katy Perry into space, when do we finally use this technology to send American heroes like Angela White (I know she was born in Australia) up there and film her effortlessly accommodating various dicks without the pesky properties of gravity dragging both her and her tremendous cans towards Mother Earth?
Only a few weeks ago, people created quite a stir when Bonnie Blue took on 1,000 cocks in a day. However, I barely turned my gaze toward that disgraceful feat because the sheer volume of semen produced from those thousand loads was too much for my mind to quantify and too gross for my conscience to enjoy.
(Only 999 more, sweetheart.)
But you put a goddess like AW into orbit armed with nothing but some lube and an adventurous spirit, and you just might have me come off the bench and pay for porn for the first time since I bought a Vivid Video DVD from a head shop in the late-90s.
Movie Poster Image Art. Getty Images.— Please don’t misconstrue that last sentence as me saying I don’t enjoy the occasional adult content… I am only stating that I have not had the desperation to pay for porn since it has become readily available FOR FREE on the internet.
It’s a tough sell to ask people my age to shell out for OnlyFans content when we were raised with the ability to “tear one off” to either scrambled porn or (in a pinch) a Lane Bryant catalog. —
(Is that a nipple?… Well… IT IS NOW!)
Back to our movie- I don’t know exactly who to call to expedite this modern marvel of cinematic excellence… Bezos has a conflict of interest with his significantly augmented other, and Elon seemingly has bigger political fish to fry at the moment. So I will reach out to NASA instead and see, since now that the politically correct curtain is starting to rise, if they’d like to put their resources into funding something at least half of the American public will enjoy IMMENSELY.
If they thought the Mars Rover did numbers, wait until they see what Angela can do bouncing around waaaaay up there in the great blue yonder…
And to get the ball(s) rolling, here are a few potential titles for this inevitable masterpiece:
- Lust In Space
- Star Whores
- Load Warrior
- Star Trek: Deep Space 69 (or Deep Throat 9)
- Star Trek: The Next Penetration
- Backside To The Future
- The Sperminator
- Flesh Gordon
- Quantum Deep
- Sally Ride… That Dick!
- I'm Finna To Destroy Uranus
But I really don't care what you call it. Someone give Johnny Sins another helmet and an even bigger rocket, and let nature do its thing.
Pornhub. Shutterstock Images.Take a report.
-Large
Speaking of sexy people taking up space, I invited one of Barstool's newest hires, Mike Katic, onto the latest episode of YOU GOTTA TRY THIS, and I kind of fell in love with the big lug.
TAR
-L