The Celtics Are Reportedly Interested In Ben Simmons And It Unironically Makes All The Sense In The World

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Question: How "down bad" are you as an NBA team if you are talking yourself into getting into the Ben Simmons business?

The Answer: Not just down bad, down horrendous.

I think we can all agree with that right? I wouldn't exactly call that a hot take, more like an obvious take. I bring this up because of the recent reporting coming from Marc Stein, which discussed the teams currently kicking the tires on Ben Simmons, who is an unrestricted free agent

The thing with Ben Simmons is that there's a gigantic difference between being a team that's interested in Simmons if their goal is to win a title (Sixers) which we know is not smart, and then to be a team like the Boston Celtics where you're entering a gap year while having an expensive roster and have a need for low risk, high ceiling talent. To understand why the Celts would be interested I think it's important in understanding those differences.

Unironically, Ben Simmons is sneaky a perfect option for the 2025-26 Gap Year Celtics. It almost makes too much sense when you really think about it. Let's just run down the list

1. The possibility of Simmons actually being good on the Celtics would be very, very funny and the perfect hell for Sixers fans

2. If he ends up being playable on a minimum deal, that's a win

3. If he ends up still being terrible and the Celts lose, that's also ideal

This, is what I would call a move that really has no downside. No different from being in on Damian Lillard or really any player who could be had for the minimum that might serve as a low risk, high ceiling swing. Given how expensive the Celts roster is, these are the kinds of swings Brad Stevens needs to be taking. Whether it's through the Draft or minimum signings, they have to find cheap talent somewhere. 

I would also point to the current Celtics depth chart. 

Ben Simmons is 6'10. The Celts easily have the worst big man group in the NBA at the moment and as in desperate need of any type of size/rebounding. Now you might be thinking to yourself, why would a Joe Mazzulla team want a player who very famously can't/won't shoot 3PAs? Simple. Can Ben Simmons set screens? Can Ben Simmons rebound? Can Ben Simmons pass off the short roll? If you answered yes to those questions, well you just described Luke Kornet.

Not only that, but think of the big man Brad Stevens just drafted in Amari Williams. He's tall as shit, has zero offensive game, but can push the ball as a center and is a phenomenal passer. So basically, that's what Ben Simmons can do at 6'10.

I get the name shock and all that, but I'm also not sure enough people have truly realized/accepted just how brutal the Celts are going to be both defensively and on the glass. In theory, Simmons helps you in both of those areas while also giving you another passing hub to find cutters, something the team has been very vocal about increasing this season. You cannot tell me Ben Simmons is drastically worse than any of the Celts current bigs (Queta/Garza/Tillman/Williams/Niang) and that's where you also have to remember that even if he is, that also helps you!

The Celts are partaking in a "soft tank" as they should given both their health situation and cap situation. It's not a full-blown tank, but it's a tank. Just look at their roster. This is where the expectations around Simmons and the team are important and why they're maybe different from his previous spots. He was supposed to be the missing piece for those teams when it came to title contention. As a Celtic? There is no situation where he hurts you. Either he figures it out and you just got a good player for extreme value, or he helps you in your pursuit of a high lottery pick next summer.

It's hilariously a win/win for everyone involved, which feels weird to say and is also a little depressing that we're now as fans talking ourselves into Ben Simmons, but this is the reality of what the 2025-26 season is going to be. I'm down for something like this just for the chance that Sixers fans would have to see Simmons flourish as a Celtic, and all the actual basketball stuff is just the cherry on top. If I'm Simmons, while I'm sure he's not thrilled to have to play on a minimum, the opportunity for minutes is probably highest on the Celts compared to those other suitors, so I say figure out a deal and let's get nuts.

Positional need? Check

Inexpensive? Check

Potential to troll PHI? Check

Potential tank commander? Check

Low risk/high reward? Check

Alright Brad, call it in.