The WNBA Works Harder Than The FBI, Have Reportedly Found And Arrested The Fan Who Threw A Green Dildo Onto The Court
Adam Hagy. Getty Images.ESPN -- The WNBA said Saturday that the individual who threw a sex toy onto the court at an Atlanta Dream game earlier in the week was arrested and that any person throwing objects onto the court will be ejected from the arena and face a minimum one-year ban.
The incident in Atlanta occurred late in the fourth quarter of the Dream's game against the Golden State Valkyries on Tuesday in College Park, Georgia. On Friday, another sex toy was thrown under a basket in Chicago after a whistle was blown to stop play during the third quarter of the Valkyries' 73-66 victory over the Sky. An official kicked the object aside before it was picked up and removed.
Imagine sitting there in a holding cell. To the right of you, there's someone there who has been arrested for armed robbery. To the left of you, there's another hardened criminal who is in for attempted murder. They stare you down for a few moments, size you up, and ask what you were arrested for.
You clear out that frog in your throat, have to look them dead in the eyes, and tell them that you were arrested because you brought a neon green sex toy to a WNBA game with the sole purpose being to launch it onto the court towards the players as a joke.
All of a sudden…you're the alpha of that jail cell. Everybody knows that you're not the guy to mess with. Because anybody who would go out of their way to purchase a neon green dildo, buy tickets to a WNBA game, find a way to smuggle said dildo into the game, and still give in to the intrusive thoughts to chuck it onto the court? Well clearly that person is a little sick in the head. Thieves and murderers are a dime a dozen. But a sick, twisted freak who would do something as absurd as the Sex Toy Slinger? Just for a quick laugh? Those are the type of criminals that truly keep you up in night in horror.
By the way--I'd love to see this case go to court. Heck, take it all the way up to the Supreme Court. I guess the main defense here would just be that this individual was making a donation. Last time I checked, donating things isn't a crime. Perhaps they just wanted to give to the less fortunate, and the neon green dildo was intended as a gift rather than a joke. You can't prove in court that it was only just for silly ha-ha's.
Hockey fans throw hats onto the ice. Boston fans hurl racial insults onto the field. WNBA fans have just opted for neon green dildos. Seems like there's no foul play here to me, or any other decent lawyer who should be licking their chops to get this case right now.