Rate My Transplanted Hair On A 1-10 Scale

A decent while back I wrote a blog called "How To Lose Weight The Half Assed Way" because that's what I did - I lost weight the half-assed way and figured I'd let people know my secrets after they started to notice. 

What I mean by that is this - I limit processed foods to almost zero, walk 10K+ steps a day, and do *at least* 20 mins on the peloton tread/bike where I'm going so hard I almost puke when done. All of that equals about 1000 active calories burned in a day for me, which is in addition to the 2000 calories I'm burning while inactive. 

That's how I knew that total ASS CLOWN Conor Crehan stood ZERO chance against me in the Great Run Off of 2025 last April: 

Haha. What an ass kicking.

Long story short - I was completely and totally indoctrinated by the MAHA movement, and it works. Highly recommend. 

That didn't do shit for my hair though, which was an abomination to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ: 

Look at that disaster! What's the point in being as FIT and ATHLETIC as I am without having great hair to accompany those traits? There really isn't any. 

That's where the Wonton Don checked in. His crazy brain afforded us the opportunity to fix our hair in one of the world's finest cities, Istanbul, Turkey. I went from looking like THIS: 

To this: 

HOT. And it was all thanks to Este Nove and the Wonton Don. 

Here's a 6 month or so time lapse of the new hairdo: 

Goddamnit I look good

And I'm sure there will be a LOT of people in the comment section talking shit - you losers are all balding too. It's just a fact of life: 

But the good thing is your miserable asses can fix your hair too. I don't think they can transplant your brains or your lack of social skills, but they'll work WONDERS with your hair. 

JUST APPLY FOR BALDSTOOL SEASON TWO HERE: