Dumping Them Out: Have a Day A.D. Mitchell!

Welcome back to a regularly scheduled Sunday episode of Dumping Them Out. Now that football season is back, it makes writing this thing so much easier.

But before I get to football, I petition that sports collectively take a break from all things envelope related. Envelopes have gave sports nothing but problems. To be fair, the only other envelope related sports moment I can think of aside from today's Ryder Cup "put the name of one golfer in an envelope and he has to sit out if someone from the other team gets injured, but instead of the other team forfeiting that match, they get a half-point for it for some reason" rule, is the NBA Draft frozen envelope conspiracy. When in 1985 David Stern pulled an envelope from a giant bubble full of envelopes, and people thought they froze the Knicks envelope to assure they'd get the #1 pick and draft Patrick Ewing. 

Still… two notorious envelope moments in sports is too many. Moving forward, any sports league who finds themselves ready to incorporate envelopes, just take a step back for a second and come up with literally any other method. 

That Ryder Cup injury rule really is one of the dumbest rules in sports. Even if they don't want to penalize a team by making them forfeit the match, they should at least award zero points instead of giving each team a half. Or wait… is that stupid? That wouldn't make a difference would it… I was legitimately thinking all day, "If only they had awarded zero points, then the USA would have more time to comeback". But I'm now realizing one less match would just mean it took less points to win. Right? Damn… I'm glad I didn't tweet that out. I was so close to doing it too. Still a dumb rule. America deserved that full point.

I spent all last college football season really disliking Tyler Warren. Because I knew he was going to steal the Mackey Award for Best TE away from Bowling Green (my alma mater's) Harold Fannin Jr., who had the best season in the history of TE's and broke roughly 200 individual records. But of course they were going to give it to the fucking Penn State guy. But then Tyler Warren was drafted by the Colts and I was forced to start liking the guy. He's been an amazing piece for the Colts this year too. He's exactly what the team has been desperately needing at TE. I couldn't possibly complain about his performance, or pretend we should have drafted anyone else (except maybe Harold Fannin Jr.). But I knew I would end up finding some reason to be annoyed by him. For the first time I drafted Jonathan Taylor in fantasy this season. Who has also been great. I only have one complain. Is this shit really necessary Shane Steichen? 

The direct snap for 1-yard to Tyler Warren on 3rd down from 3-yard line before that play wasn't good enough? You had to draw up a SECOND Tyler Warren running play? Especially when Daniel Jones has been QB sneaking with Tush Push levels of efficiency. I can accept getting TD's vultured by Daniel Jones. Even a backup running back. But I draw the line at TE's running the ball. Is that really more effective that giving the ball to JT? Is he sneaky ass on the goal line and I just don't realize it? Next week they're gonna debut their brand new Anthony Richardson goal line package that nobody is asking for and ram him up the middle too. Just for shits and giggles. 

Speaking of the Colts, shoutout A.D. Mitchell for making it 2 consecutive years a Colts player has dropped the ball on his own volition inches before crossing the goal line. 

At least he made up for late in the game when we needed it most.

Boy does Colts Twitter NOT like A.D. Mitchell. I'm seeing a lot of real mean things out there. C'mon guys. Don't be too hard on the guy. It's not his fault. He has Type 1 Diabetes. It's actually Marty Mush's fault for drafting this blog with 3 minutes left in the 4th quarter. 

When I saw that I really thought for a second I might have accidentally rewound YouTubeTV, and that the Colts game was actually over. But nope. Just a very inappropriate jinx. 

Watching the Bears-Raiders game this afternoon (congrats on 2-2, Bears fans) I have no choice but to believe Ben Johnson is taking play calling advice straight from my Twitter page. 

I knew that shit would work. And shoutout Alabama for running what genuinely is one of my favorite plays of all-time yesterday. 

Such a shame he stepped out at the one. That play is something a 6-year old thinks is a good idea. "Why don't they just give the ball to the fat guy and have him run over everyone". Except it actually worked. Kadyn Proctor can move a bit. Next I gotta see a hockey team put a sumo wrestler in net. There's gotta be at least 1 human out there somewhere fat enough fill the entire thing.