The Jets are So Historically Bad That Aaron Glenn Tore Into Them With a Locker Room Rant So Loud the Media Could Hear Him
How it was:
How it's going:
Stop me if you've heard this before, but the Jets are a disaster of epic proportions. A cataclysm. Even by the lowly standards of the New York Jets, they're abysmally awful. So terrible the FCC should be investigating ABC-Disney for showing this team in what used to be called "The Family Hour," back when Americans still had families.
It was so horrific that even watching Tyreek Hill's leg bend in so many unnatural directions you could've used it to snake hair out of your drain was a welcome respite from watching Aaron Glenn's team attempt to play football.
Consider that on the Jets first possession, they marched through the Dolphins like an Orc Army, averaging 10 yards a carry. But it ended like this:
Which set a tone for the night. Glenn spent the spring and summer preaching that his new team was going to be disciplined. Presumably they're getting the kind of discipline you pay a stern woman in a leather corset to give you with handcuffs and a ball gag, because they weren't showing it on the field.
They lost two more fumbles in addition to Allen's (and later lost Allen to a knee injury) and committed 13 penalties. Including six pre-snap penalties on offense. SIX. Three false starts, a delay of game, an illegal shift and an illegal motion. And proceeded to keep a Dolphins drive alive with a DPI and an unnecessary roughness call. Before finally making somewhat of a semi-game of things with 11 points in the 4th quarter. But too little, too late.
And for his part, it seems Glenn didn't take it well:
ESPN - After watching 60 minutes of sloppy football, New York Jets coach Aaron Glenn ripped into his team with a locker room rant that was heard in the adjacent media room. Glenn was hot, and understandably so. …
Glenn's postgame invective focused on penalties and turnovers, according to players.
"It's obvious, but it still has to be said because we're still not doing it right," wide receiver Garrett Wilson said. "We're talking about it, we're talking about it and we're talking about it. [Limiting penalties] is the first thing we talk about in the locker room, so let's fix it next week. If we don't fix it next week, it's ridiculous."
An 0-4 start isn't that unusual for the Jets -- it happened in 2020 -- but Glenn finds himself in a small fraternity of coaches who have experienced profound struggles. He joins Adams Gase (2019) and Lou Holtz (1976) as the only coaches who began their Jets career with four straight losses.
No Jets coach has started 0-5. The Jets host the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday.
To that, all I can say is:
I mean, swap out a few names and games here, Mad Libs-style, and this article I quoted could be from any era of Jets history. That could be Eric Mangini stressing the need to clean up mistakes or Jeremy Kerley talking about wanting to play hard for Rex Ryan or Sam Darnold letting Todd Bowles down or whomever. The whole franchise is like a sentient being that curses all who enter it. It's the football Fall of the House of Usher, where the characters have a supernatural connection to their surroundings and are quickly driven to hysteria.
I mean, Aaron Glenn is a smart, capable man of integrity with a positive disposition. And it's taken all of four games for him to go from dancing on the sidelines to go full Jack Torrance on everybody.
Different coach. Different roster. Different era. The same old Jets. And yet, they're one loss (and +2.5 against the Cowboys) away from making history for their newest coach who naively believed he could turn the franchise around.
You hate to see it. Just hate to see it. But it does add a layer of drama to the proceedings at Met Life Sunday. Have your Jets Misery Bingo Card ready.