Society Should Be Way More Scared Of Carnival Rides – "The Zipper" At L.A. High School 'Family Fun Day' Malfunctioned And Started Attacking Itself

There are so many things that happen in the world that the internet unfairly blows out of proportion. For example, if you've lived in Hastings, Nebraska your entire life, then based on what you've seen online, you'd have no choice but to think an NYC subway station is the most terrifying place on earth, and that taking the train meant you had a 50% of being set on fire by homeless people. Or that Spirit Airlines flights all turn into 100 passenger royal rumbles the minute they reach altitude. People only ever talk about things when shit goes bad. Scary shit moves the needle. I generally find that really annoying. But when it comes to scary footage of carnival rides malfunctioning for no reason whatsoever... I'd argue we don't see enough of them. So here are some more.

We should be way more scared of carnival rides than we currently are. The risk/reward factor is not even close to high (or low?) enough to make riding "The Zipper" remotely worth it. Best case scenario, you kill 5 minutes and have about as much fun as one would have running down a small hill. Worst case scenario you die. Or you wind up stuck upside down 100 feet in the air, praying the fire department shows up before the ride operator who's more cigarette than person accidentally presses a series of buttons that causes the ride to explode. Being stuck on a carnival ride basically means your life in the hands of the most ambitious person at the county fair. 

I mean just look at that zipper ride. I'd be surprised if it were built in the 21st century. You wouldn't trust a toothless crackhead in a beat up 99' Corolla to drive your children to school. But we'll let that same guy cram them into tiny metal box and flip them around on a giant spinning popsicle stick from the Clinton administration. A giant spinning popsicle stick that I'm pretty sure can fold into itself and drive away on 4 wheels. We're way too trusting of carnival rides. They're so engrained into American culture that we just accept them, when in an alternate universe, if someone right now presented us with the concept of carnival rides, we'd laugh them out of the room. No way he zipper's of the world clear whatever modern day safety regulations are in place if they weren't grandfathered into society the way they are.