Firefighters are Charged With Flooding a Baseball Field Because Their Vehicles Were Getting Damaged. By Baseballs.

Smile. Getty Images.

One thing I try to avoid doing is painting everyone in a certain profession with a broad brush. To use plural nouns to suggest that they're one monolithic collective where everyone thinks the same, as opposed to a group of individuals from different backgrounds who are motivated by different things. 

Candidates for office love to portray everyone in certain lines of work in these broad, overly simplistic terms. It's not only the worst kind of pandering, it's not true. Not every teacher "cares about educating our kids." Not every farm is owned by a decent, hardworking, salt-of-the-earth type concerned about "feeding America's working families." Not every blogger writing Lowest Common Denominator drivel aimed at an 8th grade reading level is "a handsome, virile, charming intellectual who really knows how to please a woman." These examples might all be true in the vast majority of cases, but one description does not fit all.

That's true even when we're taking about firefighters. On the whole, I'd argue - and I'm sure I won't get much of an argument - that theirs is among the most noble of professions. That the intrepid men and women who choose that calling do so knowing they'll have to risk their lives to save others. Even drivel-writing bloggers who charm their women, if necessary. That's why when both of my sons were still in the Superhero Phase of dressing up for Halloween, they each went as firefighters. Neither asked to be taken to Spirit Halloween to find a Massachusetts Court Officer costume like dad wore to work back then. Nor did they ask to borrow one of my Patriots t-shirts and pajama bottoms and go as a blogger.

But that doesn't mean they're all heroes, all the time. Even these hardy souls are capable of just being ordinary, garden-variety twats sometimes. These guys, for instance:

Source -  Two firefighters in Maryland's Montgomery County have been charged with malicious destruction of property and disorderly conduct after officials say one admitted to deliberately flooding a baseball field July 17.

Thousands of gallons of water from an engine at the station was deliberately sprayed onto the field, and a video showing a towering stream of water saturating the field went viral.

One of the firefighters told police he was frustrated with baseballs leaving the field and damaging property at the adjacent fire station.

According to a charging document filed in the case, Montgomery County Fire Capt. Christopher Reilly told two players who went to the station to complain, “I wanted to get your attention.”

The document also states Reilly told officers with the Maryland National Capital Park Police he did it out of “frustration due to repeated incidents involving baseballs striking personal vehicles […]” and equipment.

NBC Washington has also learned a second firefighter has been charged in connection with the field spraying. According to the charging document, firefighter Alan Barnes backed the engine out of the station on University Boulevard before removing the hose from the truck, while a video shows Reilly standing on top of the engine and spraying the field for approximately three minutes.

Yeah, that's not the kind of behavior we've come to expect from these guys. No male stripper ever showed up to a Bachelorette party, opened up his yellow rain slicker and said, "Is there a woman here … looking to see a ballgame ruined by petty vandalism?" to "It's Raining Men." 

Look, I get that it sucks to have your sweet, cherry, tricked out Ford F-150 damaged by a flying baseball. But if ever there was a case where context is important, this is it. If you've parked it next to the fence at a dog park, sure. You've got a beef. If you're parked around the back of the cemetery so your sidepiece can give you a handy on your lunch break without you getting caught, getting the hood dented by a baseball, you have a right to be cheesed off at the ones responsible.

But that video seems to suggest that the fire station is just outside the left-centerfield fence. That would imply an unwritten social contract that says you're bearing some of the responsibility if there's damage. Unless it's Tee Ball, you parks yer car, you takes yer chances. And you have no more right to act all pissy than the people who buy houses on a golf course and get angry when they find Top Flites in their pool or their toddlers learn to yell "FUCK!" 

From a legal standpoint, you don't have a leg to stand on. It's not victim-blaming. It's the ultimate example of "You knew the risks when you signed up." And if you're going to park outside the fence at a ballpark, next time do some scouting and pick a league with better pitching.