Joe Milton Played Catch With a Regular Human and Nearly Took the Poor Guy's Head Off

Joe Milton might be the best clip athlete of all-time. Do you want to watch him play a full football game? Probably not. But if you tell me there's a 15-second clip of Milton doing literally anything, I know it's going to be awesome and I'm watching it 11 times out of 10.

This week's clip is what appears to be some sort of delivery guy who stumbled upon Joe's house and wanted to play catch with a Cowboys quarterback — because of course you want to do that. The mistake he made, though, was one I've actually seen someone else make before, which was telling Joe to throw the ball as hard as he can. Because he'll do it.

The first person I saw make this same error, by the way, was Spider, who was nearly decapitated in the New York office — something he and I share, though under remarkably different circumstances.

This guy at least had some distance to give him a second to react to the bullet that was flying towards him. Spider had his face directly in the line of fire from about 15 feet and just barely gout out of the way in time.

Let both of these videos serve as a lesson that just meeting Joe Milton and getting a selfie is probably as far as you want that interaction to go. Don't try to be a hero. There is a rocket launcher attached to that man's torso and it has been fine-tuned to throw footballs at the maximum speed allowed by the human body.