BOAT DAY: Miami Heat Players Go Full New York Giants
Yeah, the Miami Heat might be cooked. And honestly, I think most of us already knew that deep down. You take one look at this roster and you just know there’s no chance in hell this team is winning a championship. I love the guys on the team, I really do, but unless “Heat Culture” can perform some sort of miracle resurrection, this season’s going to blow. Maybe they find that magic the same way a homeless guy finds a dime bag on the sidewalk and ends up having the night of his life. But let’s be real… that kind of luck doesn’t usually hit twice.
Still, I was holding out some hope. Like maybe we sneak into the playoffs, maybe Spo cooks up something crazy, maybe the boys figure it out. But then… the boat day happened.
Listen, personally, I love that they went out and had a day. I grew up in South Florida, there’s truly nothing better than being out on the water with your boys. Good music, good food, cold drinks, the sun hitting just right… that’s what life’s all about. I get it. They deserve that. But as a superstitious asshole, I can’t help but feel like this was a huge mistake.
The second I saw those pictures hit social media, I felt a chill run down my spine. We’ve seen this movie before. The New York Giants’ infamous boat day? That single photo cursed their entire season. And now, the Miami Heat of all teams had to go and do the same thing? You just know this is going to come back to haunt us.
Look, I didn’t expect much from this squad anyway, so it’s not like I’m heartbroken. But if when we end up missing the playoffs by a single game, or get bounced in the play-in tournament (again), I already know exactly where the blame’s going. Not Spo. Not Bam. Not Pat Riley’s stubborn refusal to sign anyone under 30 (Maybe). Nope, it’s going to be the fucking boat day.
So yeah, the vibes were great, the photos were clean, and everyone looked like they were having a blast. But mark my words, if this season goes south, these picture’s will be getting abused on social media.