VIDEO: The Coolest Soccer Goal Ever Scored (Maybe)

The Grok Translation of that tweet is, "The goalkeeper, frustrated with his team, made an assist to himself from midfield using the goalpost and scored an incredible goal. India / West Bengal region"

Apologies to Memphis. I'm pretty sure it just cost their city two still births for Grok to translate that sentence to English. But that's the necessary cost of poorly running a shitty social media platform. 

For not being a soccer guy, aside from my Fiorentina Career Mode in FC26 (got the Purples humming right now, Moise Keane best striker in the world), I spend a lot of time watching soccer highlights on YouTube. It's one of my go-to YouTube video rabbit holes when I can't sleep. For as slow as soccer can be sometimes, the highlights are amazing. When you cut out all the boring stuff and go straight to the source (the source being 5-10 minute long, "_____'s best ____" compilations), soccer is as electric of a sport as it gets. 

Pro Tip: The grainier the footage, the better highlight. If the pitch looks like 22 blurs of color jogging lightly across the screen, you know you're about the witness something crazy. 

I say all that to say, I've seen a lot of soccer goals in my day, and this self-assisted-crossbar-goalie-goal is as good as any of them. He did it under the lights too. In front of a remarkably large & enthusiastic crowd. Despite this looking like it could be a rec league game played on a youth soccer field, the atmosphere seems to be top notch.

And for being a soccer highlight from the India/West Bengal region that was tweeted out in Turkish… if the context given in the caption is accurate… this is as American of a soccer goal as it gets. Because what is the #1 one thing every less-than-casual soccer fan wants to scream at the television every time USA plays in the World Cup? It's "SHOOT THE FUCKING BALL!!!"

Well this Indian/West Bangalis goalkeeper heard you. He said, "Fuck my teammates. They stink. They aren't shooting enough. I'm just gonna go rip it myself."

He almost made it too. His original shot was only a few inches high. Sure, it may have been "a little bit lucky" his first shot hit the crossbar so perfectly that it launched straight back to him and landed directly on the top of his right foot. But as my high school hockey coach would tell us whenever we went into overtime, "Get the puck on the net. Put the puck on net and good things will happen."

You'll never score self-assisted-crossbar-goalie-goal from mid-field if you're too scared to tell your teammates to fuck off and take the initial shot.