A New Book Details How Russell Westbrook Realized He Couldn't Take Any More of LeBron James' 'Fake Shit,' Thanks to a Bizzarre Meeting with Will Smith

This post from three years ago this week wasn't very memorable. After all, the Lakers are so famously invested in fellating every celebrity to the point that even Access Hollywood is secondhand embarrassed at how shameless they are about it. So it's no surprise they'd hold "Lakers Genius Talks" to invite speakers in to discuss every famous person's favorite subject: Themselves. For ownership to think a room filled with surly, hyper-competitive, multimillionaire narcissists would benefit from listening to some actor prattle on about his career is actually the most Lakers Thing imaginable. 

If there was anything notable about this one was that the celebrity in question was Will Smith. Fresh off being sent to Hollywood's Time Out Chair after bitch-slapping Chris Rock, and dealing with the fallout of being so mercilessly cucked by Jada Pinkett, Smith was desperately trying to resurrect his career - and his reputation - by promoting his movie by any means necessary. And the Lakers gave him a safe space to do it. 

Or so it seemed. According to a new book though, Smith walked into such a dysfunctional shitshow that his little TED Talk managed to drive a wedge between two of the biggest names on the team. Permanently:

The Ringer -  The following excerpt, from A Hollywood Ending: The Dreams and Drama of the LeBron Lakers, picks up in the summer of 2022. The Los Angeles Lakers are coming off a disastrous season. The Russell Westbrook trade has become an unmitigated debacle—one that cost head coach Frank Vogel his job. Finger-pointing within the organization is rampant. Everyone insists the trade was someone else’s idea, and everyone knows that for the Lakers to move forward, Westbrook has to go. The problem: His massive contract makes him nearly impossible to move. In the meantime, the onus is on new head coach Darvin Ham to find a way for LeBron and Westbrook to coexist. What he could have never predicted, though, was that a visit from Will Smith would make doing so all but impossible. ...

Westbrook knew LeBron’s reputation. He’d seen all the examples of LeBron seemingly misrepresenting himself. There was the time LeBron claimed that The Godfather was his favorite movie but then failed to recall a single line when asked during a press conference to name one.

There was the time he carried The Autobiography of Malcolm X into a media session but stumbled when asked to name his biggest takeaway. There was the time during an interview when he claimed that, the night Kobe scored 81 points, he’d predicted beforehand that he’d go for 70, a clip so widely mocked that it became a popular meme. ...

The team gathered in the film room to review the Blazers game. Ham was tough on the group, highlighting all sorts of mistakes that had led to the 0-3 start. When the session concluded, Pelinka came by.

[H]e told the players, Smith was on his way to them.

At this point, LeBron walked out, followed by Anthony Davis. So Westbrook assumed no one was sticking around, but then was told by Patrick Beverly that he had to stay. Because James and Davis had won a championship, they could do what they want. But everyone else was stuck. And they started beefing, before Pelinka brought Fresh Prince in.

As the two went back and forth, it became clear to the other players in the room what Westbrook was thinking: As a nine-time All-Star, and former MVP, and future Hall of Famer, why would there be a difference between him and them? …

Minutes later, Ham reentered and sat silently at the front of the room as Westbrook and Beverley continued arguing. He then stood up and exited through the same door LeBron and Davis had used. Soon after he returned with both stars. Next, Ham went to get Pelinka and Smith.

When they all returned, Smith was greeted with smiles and daps. Smith talked to the players about his new movie, Emancipation. He talked about overcoming adversity. He cracked some jokes at the team’s expense. Then he opened the floor for questions.

LeBron was first. He had a question, he said. Smith answered. Then LeBron had another question. And another after that and another after that and another after that. On and on he went, stretching what was supposed to be a 30-minute session into nearly an hour.

“The same guy who was trying to leave is now quoting back movie lines and going through the guy’s whole life story,” one attendee recalled thinking. Seated in the third row, picking at a bowl of fruit, Westbrook watched in disbelief, shaking his head and rolling his eyes every time LeBron spoke.

I hate that fake shit, Westbrook said to a teammate afterward, as the Lakers gathered for a team photo. I just can’t do it.

That would be the team photo above. Which features this little detail. Zoom in. Enhance …

Annnddd … scene.

First of all, I simply could not be more firmly in Westbrook's corner on this. Put a captain's "C" on my Team Westbrook jersey right now. Nothing grinds my gears more than LeBron's pathetic, transparent attempts to make himself look like a bookish intellectual. And not just the two examples cited in that excerpt. I'll add a third that combines the two. 

One time when he was walking into the TD Garden for a playoff game, knowing damned well ESPN would be set up to get the money shot of him walking to the locker room. So with all the authenticity of an Instagram influencer, he played it up for the cameras. With his nose firmly jammed into a hardcover copy of The Godfather. And by the looks of it, he was on like Page 5. Right, because that's what true bibliophiles do. They pick up a 50-year old novel and crack it open on the 10-minute bus ride from the team hotel. And they're so engrossed with the scene where Bonasera is pleading to Vito Corleone for vengeance against the men who hurt his daughter, that they simply can't put it down. Even while they're walking to their jobs. If it hadn't been so insulting, it would've been hilarious.

But now? Now we find out he's the guy who actually asks questions when someone's done speaking and says, "Are there any questions?" Even in a situation where nobody wants to be there. We've all been there, and without a doubt those are the worst kinds of people. When you were in school, and you had to give your oral book report in front of the class or explain your diorama about the solar system or whatever, all decent, right-thinking kids understood the unwritten rule. That "Are there any questions?" was simply code for, "I'm done talking. Please just let me end this and sit down." And the ones who violated that social contract and demanded you tell some other things you learned in your research were straight up evil. They were making it about themselves. Which is precisely what James did to Smith and everyone of his teammates who just wanted this thing to be over. 

It's been a long time since I've said this, but you have to feel bad for poor, hapless Will Smith. At the very low point of his adult life, he walked into a room probably thinking he was in for a great half hour. Hanging out with the current edition of the team he immortalized in "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It." Meeting a bunch of future Hall of Famers. Promoting his latest (and probably last) film project. But instead, he walked into a lion's den. A fractured, divided, cliquey and dysfunctional goatfuck of a locker room. With different sets of rules for different players. All ruled by the raging, oversized ego of one man who can't be satisfied unless he is the center of everybody else's universe. 

Smith had to have sensed that tension in the room. It must have been palpable. And bad as it must have felt, it wasn't even the most humiliating thing he's had to put up with these past few years:

Just to put a ribbon on all of this: Nobody likes Fake Shit. And that's been the story LeBron James' entire career.