Dave Portnoy Needs To Put This "Frank The Tank Action Figure Playset" Into Production ASAP And Only Make 99 Like Our Old Purple Starfish Pennies
It's been a helluva month and even better year for our guy Frank The Tank.
Of course I'm referring to his incredible weight loss journey you can catch up on above. For sure NOT talking about the recent standings of his favorite sports teams. Folks, those mudderfuckers absolutely fucking suck. Eternally.
But even the Mets collapse & Dolphins disaster couldn't break Tank's new found discipline and sheer will to inspire. And as with many other famous heroes on earth, it's only fitting that now he's got his very own action figure too. Wow!
Truthfully I don't know where the line is on posting AI slop to the blog, but I simply couldn't resist spreading this magic to the masses. In fact how can we get this into actual production ASAP? Maybe do it like the old Purple Starfish pennies of lore and only create 99 Frank figures all individually numbered. That's fun for the whole family! And a great early education for youths across America about which teams to never ever tie your emotions to.
Plus some fantastic foundational tips on how to deliver the perfect rant. These might sell out faster than Furby.
God bless The Tank. When you're star, they let you do anything… Which includes ranting in public, in private, or wherever he pleases. And don't think for a second Frank isn't one of the biggest superstars in sports media. He deserves way more than his own action figure. Maybe we can work on a statue outside NJ Transit HQ that everyone can take pictures with?
Judging from how long his line was after seeing Shane Gillis, just would make it easier for everyone involved next time. STAY HOT FRANCIS!