The Saddest NFL Stats Of Week 10: President Trump Commentates Washington Play as "WHOA...Not Bad!", Giants Continue Being The Team You Comeback From In A Cheesy Sports Movie, Actually This Wasn't The Worst Cardinals Loss To The Seahawks, And More
There's always one of those weeks. Somewhere in the middle of the season - much like now - when the NFL decides to keep the proletariat fans engaged and give something to keep them coming back for the rest of the season. Can't have the lower rungs of the caste waging a full scale revolt. And it was coming. We spent last week plastering angry mobs of Dolphins fans at the height of their team's crash. Ready for any usurpation. Then they managed to get an inexplicable win. Interesting how things work sometimes.
But sometimes it's not so interesting. Sometimes it's the same old week of the same old year in the same old fandom. And for the rest of you out there looking for a place to laugh about your sad team instead of cry - welcome in. Be advised - you might also cry. But grab a seat.
This is Week 10 NFL Sad Stats.
Sad Stat #1: The Washington Commanders have now lost four games in a row by 21+ points
I cooked this stat up for PFT last week in preparation for the Commanders getting housed at home against the Lions. On a day of sad team surprises, this one turned out just like everyone prepared for. Especially PFT. It wasn't all bad though!
Anyway - four games allowing 21-points or more wins is a lot rarer than you'd think. After crushing the numbers, I definitely thought I screwed up the code somewhere and immediately checked weekly scores of the 0-16 Lions and Browns as a quick spot check since neither showed up on my list. Sure enough - not even these losers had as inept of a four-game stretch as this Commanders squad. You might even say the home team was leaning right in getting sick of it. While LaPorta was running around free in the secondary, even liberal fans were hollering at Trump to have DC Joe Whitt DePorta'd anywhere out of the city.
The President even joined the broadcast booth for a Washington drive and in a shock to absolutely no one helped himself in taking play calling lead. "WHOA….not bad" was his call on one Washington play. Certainly more favorable of a view than had it been Hamilton's.
I don't know, maybe he was really just looking down at a text coming in about the shutdown deal at that very moment.
Oh - I see we have someone in the sad circle with their hand raised and wants a turn. That's great. That's what this is all about. Go ahead Nate. Get what you need off your chest.
Sad Stat #2: The Washington Commanders have given up 154 points in the last four games
It's one thing to have a sad team. It's another to get Lucy with the football'd by having a magically improbable season with a stud rookie first round quarterback that gave you legitimate Super Bowl aspirations only to have it taken right away from your hands like the ice cream vendor meme leaving you right back in the realm of the sad, and hungry for ice cream.
Let me see what I can do here. Would showing you 154-points given up in a four-game span isn't quite as bad as you thought help? How about if it drags another sad divisional franchise down with you? 
Anyone remember last week when I said no matter what I do, I can't not find 1966 Giants in the worst spot of any sad consecutive team stat? Putting any footage of this team on my Christmas list now. Whatever format. VHS, 8-Track. Cave drawings. Whatever there is.
Now that I roped in you Giants fans… let's talk about the modern day.
Sad Stat #3: The Giants have given up 115 4th quarter points with a -41 differential in route towards…
Silver lining. Some day your grandkids are going to read about the crappy team you kept rooting for and you'll get to point out how much better they were than their great, great grandpa's 1966 team.
Every game seems scripted as if this team is the NPC of a sports movie where the team everyone loves comes back to beat them. You've come a long, sad way from Little Giants. Brian Daboll is out so at least there's that. Funny that this guy has been a stage-five clinger to Jaxson Dart. We now all see why. The second the kid leaves his side for a few moments Daboll gets the ax.
Sad Stat #4: The last two punters to coffin-corner their first two punts of a game to the 1-yard line both lost
Punter AJ Cole was the highlight of the Raiders Thursday night which is never a good thing unless we're talking about Wisconsin Badgers passing. I think the Raiders game is still the saddest performance for a sad team from Week 10. The Commanders didn't have their starting quarterback, at least. But the Broncos pulled every trick out of their bag to try to give the game away and the Raiders had nothing in response. Starting a drive in Denver territory that failed to score a touchdown and then blocking a Raiders punt the next drive to set up also not scoring a touchdown in the redzone is misery at it's finest.
Mike Scifres is the last punter to start a game with two coffin-corners to the 1-yard line. Week 9, 2013 for the Chargers. As the stat indicated: they would also lose the game.
But the saddest part for the Raiders that gets lost in this game is they are so bad, opposing home crowds boo their team in unison even when they're beating you.
Sad Stat #5: Arizona gave up 38 points in a first half vs the Seahawks for the first time since 2012… when they played the Seahawks
Who else forgot to put in a Knight/Lawrence forced fumble/fumble recovery TD X2 parlay? Just needed to press bet. Darn. Pretty sure you'd just win the IP of the sportsbook wherever you put that in.
This game was over before the foam on the beer settled underneath your freshly cracked tab. 38-0 start to this one after the Seahawks blitzed the Commies last week 31-0 in the first half.
But this isn't the blog to celebrate happy Seahawks stats.
I swear I heard on the broadcast that this was the first time since the 1950s or maybe even earlier that Arizona gave up 38 first half points. Did anyone else hear that? Well, I have to stand up for Cardinals fans here. Credit where credit is due and this isn't even the first time this century they've allowed this against just the Seahawks.
How about a little respect, Kevin Harlan…
HAPPY STAT: Jets and Saints are the first 1-7 or worse winners in a week since 2019
I was a little surprised two 1-7 teams or worse both winning in a week happened so recently, and it was even with three teams that year. Falcons, Jets, and Dolphins. Sometimes you just need a spark to get your squad going. Look how far these teams have come since then.
Sad Stat #6: The Bills ended their 41-game "not getting shutout after three quarters" to the… checks notes… Miami Dolphins???
I think we can all agree this game takes full command of 2025's "NFL Makes No Sense" game trophy. Move over Browns/Packers. Seeing the Buffalo Bills with a perfectly healthy Josh Allen go scoreless is wild enough in of itself. But to have it come against Miami is next level insane. This was Raiders/Ravens last year. Just a completely unexplainable game. I don't even know if you could find a potential matchup rest of season that could top this based on what we've seen from Miami and right after the Bills dusted the Chiefs.
Sad Stat #7: People who had to buy an extra package to watch Monday Night Football were treated with the first scoreless halftime since 2009
That's it for today. Look out for my Sports Staturday blog coming Saturday morning with more wild and fun/stupid sports stats.