WATCH: Eminem Makes Surprise Appearance With Jack White To Perform The BEST Thanksgiving Halftime Show Since Scott Stapp & Creed In 2001

I'll be brief so you can get back to your well earned turducken nap, but had to give a shout out to Jack White for absolutely crushing his halftime show today. Sure you could say bringing out Eminem to a sold out crowd in Detroit was cliche pandering of the highest level... but then you'd also be a huge fucking loser with an even bigger dump in your pants. 

That shit ROCKED. Exact manifestation of an electric factory. Bananaland. Even if the Lions got big time cuckholded by the Packers. 

Here's the full performance from the boys: 

But before you go and take a walk with your cousins, I MUST give full credence & maximum respect to those who came before Jack & The Real Slim Shady today. 

Of course I'm talking about a very pivotal day in American history during 2001. No not that one, choose love one time please Jesus Christ. I'm referring to the Thanksgiving halftime performance from Creed. Dallas couldn't get enough. With arms WIDE open. 

Along with whatever the fuck this is? ALPHA MALE. JACKHAMMER.

(SOURCE) - On Nov. 22, 2001, outrageously popular post-grunge band Creed played the halftime show at the Cowboys' Thanksgiving game against the Denver Broncos. The game happened, though it's not even worth really talking about it. Ryan Leaf was the Cowboys' quarterback, the Broncos (8-8) beat Dallas (5-11) 26-24 in a final score much closer than the game actually was, and neither team made the playoffs in these forgettable seasons. So what's left to talk about is the music.

Creed's inclusion in this affair isn't surprising. The band was unstoppable in 2001, coming off their third album, Weathered (Which has maybe the funniest album art in the history of commercially recorded music). But the band turned in perhaps one of the strangest, or greatest, depending on who you ask, halftime shows in NFL history. The show starts as the stadium announcer introduces the Salvation Army and team owner/mummy-in-waiting Jerry Jones, kicking off the organization's "Christmas Kettle" campaign. Jones and Salvation Army commissioner John Busby don't even finish ringing the bell before they're played off by Creed, who is not actually playing any instruments yet, as dancers crowd them out. The PA announcer's impassioned plea to give to those in need during the 2001 holiday season is barely audible as Creed's "Higher" begins. Again, Scott Stapp is not actually singing yet and the band members have not yet started playing instruments. What follows is a glorious, bombastic, overwhelming display of American might and culture, and you can relive it in all the pixels that 420p resolution video offers. Stapp, an American Fabio in a custom Cowboys jersey, croons out "Higher" in that signature Not-Quite-Eddie-Vedder voice that everyone had in the early 2000s. Dancers clad in the regalia of the Cowboys cheerleaders flank him, and as the chorus begins, a shirtless, bald dancer flies across the field at Texas Stadium with flowing white fabric behind him. He is an angel sent from above, or perhaps some sort of bald eagle; it's sort of left to your imagination.

The first chorus of "Higher" fades seamlessly into "My Sacrifice," one of Weathered's singles. As another flying dancer joins the first, they start doing some sort of weird, mid-air interpretive dance routine. Dancers on the ground cavort and twirl red, white and blue ribbons. The performance then becomes interspersed with footage of 9/11 first responders, video you and I and everyone in this country are well acquainted with; masked firefighters and NYPD cops covered in soot pouring through wreckage, the detritus of office buildings strewn across the ground. Of course, because it's ostensibly a fundraiser for the Salvation Army, the clips also prominently feature the organization's charitable work after 9/11. (It's unclear if the stadium was seeing this footage, or if it was broadcast on CBS. The Thanksgiving halftime show was often not broadcast on national television to make time for the network's human interest commercials, and non-grainy, VHS-ripped footage of the performance is hard to find.) The show finishes with "Don't Stop Dancing," also off of Weathered, and as Scott crows, "Children, don't stop dancing / Believe you can fly / Away," he's joined on stage by a full choir, his sister Aimee Stapp, and a little girl clad in a white dress. It's easy to imagine that in the aftermath of 9/11, this all felt very good and thoughtful, and 24 years later, it's still sort of infectious.

Don't stop dancing, but do stop reading. Enjoy your night folks, thankful for you. 

God bless America. God bless Scott Stapp. 

PS: this one still hurts to think about, fuck you COVID. Maybe we can get him back for the next Pup Punk concert? Let's go there, let's make our escape… HIGHER.

PPS: no word yet on how Tony Romo felt about Jack & Slim, but I'll take any excuse to be reminded Dolly Parton exists.