The Philadelphia Eagles Suck Ass At Football
Logan Bowles. Getty Images.There's never been an Eagles team that has been more of a chore to watch. Every single week is like pulling teeth with this team. The offense will go 3&out for like 7 straight possessions. Then all of a sudden they'll have a drive that reminds you of why they are the defending Super Bowl champs, followed up by another 7 straight possessions of pure shit.
Jalen Hurts looked awful today aside from 2 throws to AJ Brown. Saquon Barkley looked like shit today, and he's looked like shit all year long. Landon Dickerson can't go a full game without taking a false start penalty. The only explanation that would make any sense as to how all these guys could be so horrific at football is if they were actually trying to get Kevin Patullo fired.
Meanwhile, the defense is doing everything possible to make Vic Fangio look like an incompetent dickbag. If you want to bury the Eagles and rip this team's heart out, then all you need to do is pick up 6-7 yards every play down the middle. They'll miss tackles. They'll play the softest coverage. The Eagles spend so much damn time focusing on not giving up any big plays that they forgot teams can just kill them by picking up a few yards at a time, and keeping the defense on the field all damn day. When is the last time this defense had any bite to them on 3rd down? It's almost always an automatic 1st down.
The coaches suck ass this year. The players suck ass this year. The general manager has sucked ass this year. This team has hasn't looked this far away from being a legitimate Super Bowl contender in a while. They are a joke. A gutless joke. No heart. No fight. No bite. Just a wildly frustrating team to watch week after week.
But still. Buy some merch for 20% off all weekend long. The team sucks, but the Black Friday sale does not.