Alix Earle's Abs Are Making Dogs Across America Bark At Their TV Screen? Let's Investigate.

Holy HELL Alix Earle… Look I know we've never seen her out of shape but when did those washboard abs pop up? Have mercy! 

Guess I need to sign myself for a dance class ASAP. Turns out practicing the samba 6-9 hours a day has its benefits? And make no mistake about it, she's evolved far past julienne salad territory with that new hip shakin' six pack. 

In fact Alix has reached such a next level of hotness that she's transcended species too. 

You might have noticed that dog was NOT making any noise during that clip. But you cannot deny he was absolutely locked in. My headline is still 100% true though.

Turns out I was the one who was barking at the TV… Sue me!

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

However unfortunately for me & my dawgs, Alix's 'Dancing With The Stars' experience is already over. Kind of a bummer I didn't know it was going on until it ended, but such is life sometimes. Clearly dance breakups are never easy though. We're all going through it now. 

Sidenote, is that SpongeBob clip with the guy who allegedly left his wife & new baby for Ariana Grande's tiny hole one of the worst things you've ever witnessed? Or is it just me? I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges… He is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can't look away. 

Anyway, fingers crossed Alix shares her ab routine with us fellow miscreants so we can all look that good in spandex. I'm sure she'll shake off this brutal loss and find some sunny times ahead. Other than washing clothes with her stomach, that's certainly another strong specialty of hers. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go bark at the garbage truck. 

Enjoy your weekend, you filthy animals. 

PS: I wonder if Alix & Abella Danger shared any classes together at Miami? A boy can dream…

PPS: Until we get that A+ ab routine, here's a great glutes workout from her good friend Livvy Dunne. 

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.